An hour and a half of balls-out absurd — and slightly kinky — fun.
They touch our bodies, in intimate ways and places, all before stripping away your nails with power tools.
Cartoonists are just disgruntled rock stars at heart.
I was someone for whom starvation gave me a sense of control that I lacked. Or, at least, it gave me the illusion of control.
The daughter was the first to notice, but it took a while for the others to listen.
Laura Diaz de Arce The Early Modern artist academies considered the human body the pinnacle of study. To study the body was to engage in beauty, in perfection. Which is funny, because human bodies are really fucking gross. No. Really. Gross. We sweat, we chew, we swallow, shit, piss, ejaculate, vomit, spit. We take material […]
Back in the 1800s people told ghost stories at Christmas, not this happy crappy Hallmark stuff like today.
I shouldn’t be so afraid
I should factor this into
I let each client unwittingly summon their own workout monster.
There aren’t really a lot of “mic drop” moments — though there are a lot of attempts at them.
Fiddler on the Roof meets Carrie
They equate consensually created pornography and general sexual content with problematic and criminal activity.
She lets her hands play across the ancient rind and she speaks her wish again.
CLASH knows you’re creative, so let’s share that awesomeness with the world!
He flexed his razor-sharp talons
Strength. Focus. Purpose.
Carla Gugino, is the embodiment of bohemian-earth-mother-meets-ethereal-diva
Steve McQueen was a fuckin’ superman. He was the single greatest guy who ever existed.
Those are my muthafuckin’ turkey giblets for my muthafuckin’ mouth!!!
I got drunk and dreamt of Pound again. His yodel must have been a brick.
For the whole month of November, we want to hear your odd Thanksgiving stories, be they real or the product of your own twisted minds
Do they more than whisper?
Here, a maiden’s face is held like a pearl, a fire under his furnace
Houses can’t be haunted in a world where there are bills to be paid
A ghost returns
to the garden where
the soil is all mixed up
What immediately stood out was Grenn’s effortless proficiency with rope and knot
How stupid would it be if he ruptured his L4-L5 disc while bending over to pick up his knife?
The Willow-Witch has been tapping on my window for weeks
It is a monster who lives here
in your home and in your heart
In the Rim, shadows would float above them
you crept out of me,
nestled in crimson
where lung met trachea
Sometimes I think about the seven known gates of hell and I wish I could kiss you at every one of them
Poets are receivers, witches are transmitters
Society often fails to see that addiction does not define a person, and sometimes, the person who is addicted lacks the ability to see that too.
“I’m not a vampire. I’m afraid my appetites run so much deeper.”
The strangest thing about the room was the spoons.
But do not be deceived,
she’s all witch, conjure.
Perhaps Satan is lurking in all those terms and conditions no one ever feels like reading
If in your first act someone speaks of the devil, then in the second the devil better rain brimstone down on everyone.
Just wanna be left with my brood
to snuggle and cuddle and chew
The possibilities are endless when all you’ve got is time and an all-you-can-eat buffet called civilization.
You probably know a person just like me. You might even be friends with someone like me. The type of friend you don’t remember meeting.
LitReactor columnist and managing editor of CLASH Books, Christoph Paul, shares a great way to come up with main characters that will feel real and unique to you and your reader.
Writer and YouTuber Wizard of Cause VLOGS about why artists of all types need isolation.
Editor and author Christoph Paul explains how writing notes (and being brutally honest) about a finished draft will make you a better writer, give you better standards, and help you write books you will feel proud of.
“Aliens don’t give a fuck about you.”
“More people need to wear a panda head when they do interviews.”
“Sorry KatyCats, I think I might have just switched alliances.”
“Marisol is a bruja who must grapple with sexual abuse.”
“Hi there, Dudebros. Hope all is well in the frat house, basement, or wherever it is you’re reading this from.”
“You are very critical of micropresses/small presses using P.O.D. but you have to admit Youth of the Nation is a good song.”
“It was a radtacular time.”
“In the 1980s and 90s photocopied, or Xeroxed, zines were very popular.”
“These stories get under your skin.”
“The F word is used three times in the first three sentences.”
“There was the summer my friends and I saw this kid pee on his parent’s car.”
“I think I was smoking a cigar.”
“She looked at me, my tiny jeans falling off of my concave stomach, and then wrote in my copy of the book, “Baby Steps.”
“Now we finally get our own supervillain.”
“Your father has a devil inside him.”
“How cool would it be if you actually got Cher to do a poetry zine for one of the Ladybox releases?”
“If you think every other author out there is your enemy, you can go fuck yourself.”
“Come to Vegas and we can go to karaoke.”
“10/10 would chat again”
“We’re a bunch of slanted-eyed brown girls watching wide-eyed white girls being chased by a killer.”
“It felt much more like a conversation than a sort of performance of me-ness.”
“Actually, I’m a Pisces. A sad, aging emo boy in a sad, aging emo world.”
“We all smelled bad and dressed sloppy acted like we hated the place.”
“My friends were all hood rats.”
“Dreams are often a strange equalizer.”
Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT
In professional sports there is ALMOST never a good reason to lose, and in writing there is never a good reason to write poorly. Both are the golden rules of being ‘successful’ but what if you need to lose to get better, and need to write some shit to get better? What if losing and being shitty is part of the process to become great?
“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”
There is no such thing as fair during times like this.”
“I felt okay about being charmless. I was going to eat ice-cream.”
“I was a religious little boy and thought Guns N’ Roses were nothing but sinners and going to hell.”
“I can’t untangle my queerness from my politics or my magickal practice.”
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
“I picture myself as Lena Dunham with a beard.”
“When I finally decided to quit drinking I had anxiety about being alone.”
“I want to make shit happen.”
“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”
“I’m still the heathen it represents, but now I’m a sober, happy heathen.”
“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”
MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY DAY
“I have a firm belief that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.”
“Every human being gets addicted to something.’
“Once he jumped on me while I was humping my pillow.”
“You can just imagine all those Chinese like a little army of yellow ants crawling over it, can’t you?”
“BRUJA is a fluid, non-linear, and organic experience.”
“When I think of people with mustaches, I think of my dad, Burt Reynolds, and cowboys.”
“My heart is a dumpster fire.”
One of the earliest reviews I received said, “A full on satire of contemporary law as mesmerizing and complex as something lost from David Foster Wallace, yet as light in tone as A Confederacy of Dunces.” First I was flattered, thrilled, and then I thought, wait, didn’t both those guys kill themselves?
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
“Basically, Elizabeth Ellen should win the Pulitzer Prize and then immediately be beaten to death with it because she’s so good, so human, so completely fucked.”
“My personal favorite character is a talking bathroom that literally fucks Kyle.”
“Bizarro is the Chaos Magick of literature.”
“I dreamt about Lola at night.”
“We loved Kerouac’s Mexico City Blues and Enzo wanted to read the whole book out loud. It took a long time because we got very drunk.”
“You made all of this happen with your book,” one Twitter user scolded me.”
“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”
“We’re saddened to announce that we lost a member of the CLASH family this week. Author and CLASH journalist Michael Kindt (April 14th, 1968 – February 21st, 2017) passed away unexpectedly at the age of 48.”
“What does it mean to survive?”
“I can already see the glazed over eyes of anyone who dares read this shit.”
“Titles such as Wall of Kiss, Mother Puncher, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife grab your attention and make you wonder what kind of madness unfolds within those pages.”
“If you enjoy surrealistic Bizarro fiction with a heart too big to contain within its pages, then this is the collection for you.”
“Old gods lurk behind the stars, old loves linger on from Earth, and Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.”
“We live in a time that fetishizes 80s popular culture, so wouldn’t it be rad if you developed a vaginal opening on your stomach that supports Betamax tapes?”
“Somewhere in between Donald Trump’s attacks on immigrants and his comments about pussy-grabbing, it became clear that public demonstrations and marches were going to become a regular part of my life.”
“I do not control people’s boner.”
CLASH Media catches up with Constance Ann Fitzgerald and talks about her new book, Glue.
“What a surreal time to be alive in all the history of the world and be who I am.”
“I felt like I was outside myself as well as inside.”
“I didn’t realize how out of shape I was until I tried running a mile.”
This poem should at least get some Google hits.
“What’s remarkable about these stories is Evenson’s ability to turn familiar, mundane things into objects of terror.”
“CLASH wants your creepy stories!”
“Hey, so I was wonderin’, do you think I can maybe get backstage?”
“Every night he asks me the same question. “Will you sleep with me?”
“Screams filled the kitchen of the frat house.”
“I know what you’re thinking: why Kid Rock? Why not Limp Bizkit or Uncle Kracker or some other horrible nü-metal band scraped out of the armpit of the late 90s?”
“I didn’t know who the hell this Brian guy was, but I did want to fuck her.”
“TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”
“She rides that mushroom pole and flips upside down, with her legs spread high above her head. Her big blue eyes and red lips are innocence and corruption made flesh.”
“The cameraman wore a black suit with white gloves and a shiny red shirt. A large, handheld video camera obscured his face. The lens pointed right at me.”
“It’s a relief to find someone you enjoy working with. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to know if you like working with someone is when you actually do it.”
“Owning a laptop… Going to a coffee shop… Having a cat…”
“Believe it or not, there are many successful self-published authors. Yes. You can actually make a living self-publishing. You can even win awards!”
“We want 2,000 to 3,000 word stories dealing with anything Wu-Tang Clan related. That could be Gravediggaz themes of horror, cool ass ninja shit, grimy Shaolin monks, slick futuristic science fiction a la Bobby Digital, gritty, or off-the wall crime fiction.”
“Recently I spoke with Alex J. Mann, the director behind the CLASH digital exclusive FOLLOWER. You can read the exchange below. “
“It’s almost as if the authors, publishing houses, and websites in this circle are eating the feces of their neighbors, digesting them, shitting them out, and feeding them to the next person like an oval human centipede.”
“Danika Stone is an author, artist, and educator who writes novels for both adults (Edge of Wild, The Intaglio Series and Ctrl Z) and teens (All the Feels.)”
“I have high levels of empathy. Not Will Graham level, but up there.”
“Among creative types–specifically authors–there is a lot of focus on aesthetic, and building a brand, and it results in a loss of authenticity within the writing they’re trying to promote. This is not a universal rule, but we are starting to lose touch with what it means to produce good work.”
“Fans have been clamoring for more. The question is though, will John Green be able to supply new material before his relevancy diminishes?”
“It’s not only gay. It’s so bad, it’s good.”
“IN CONVERSATION is a weekly interview series where CLASH founder Jayme Karales will sit down with some of the most important names in writing and entertainment for one on one, in-depth discussions.”
“For better or worse I see things very much through the lens of International Relations. I see the distribution of digital art as similar to the politics of the Cold War.”
“For all writers, the allure of seeing your books on the shelf is perhaps more overwhelming than writing the book in the first place…”