“You probably consider yourself an honest person, but honestly, you lie all the time.”
“Games like poker are no longer being defined by the table.”
Maybe it started as an obligation to the U.S. government, but I’d like to think our relationship has progressed beyond that.
“Since the demon, or demons, are invisible it is nearly impossible to detect them in your food.”
“He ripped off McShay’s clothes and tossed them aside like they were worthless seventh-round picks as both men traded up into each others arms.”
“Go to a crossroads & try to summon Lucifer & see what happens.”
“The uglier parts of the show detail how they want to do what best suits them, their reputation, and their livelihood.”
“Here’s a list of things you should do and be on the lookout for when it comes to sending someone your work.”
Madeleine Swann takes every creepy online psychology test you’ve secretly wanted to try.
Hey DFW fans…
LitReactor columnist and managing editor of CLASH Books, Christoph Paul, shares a great way to come up with main characters that will feel real and unique to you and your reader.
YouTube announced its new minimum standards to join its partner program in 2018 and get monetization a few days ago, and it has become a very divisive issue
Writer and YouTuber Wizard of Cause VLOGS about why artists of all types need isolation.
Warning: Experiment with these practices at your own risk.
“No more CHRISTMAS SHIT for the rest of the night.”
“Watching them win this money, I started to feel like I had squandered my life.”
What is the best path?
“Shake people, shock people, disturb people, terrify people, confuse people—the only way to affect change.”
“I dreamed of white veils and black habits.”
Halloween became a thing I wanted to nail in Kindergarten.
“MGOTW are upset and are lighting up the boards on 4Chan and try to start a care.org to get the bill overturned, but they lost focus when a leaked nude of Kaley Cucoco appeared on Reddit.”
He’s reconciled the misanthrope and the romantic in a way that doesn’t feel uneven.
This is when frogs come hopping. He is unsettled by their black, staring eyes.
How did my pain get so big?
I enjoyed rambling through a wide range of topics.
“That’s about the most direct insult we’ve heard of from a high-ranking member of the government, and something it’s easy to suspect other officials echoing behind closed doors.”
“What was it like to have your first book There’s No Happy Ending optioned by Vivid Video for their hand job denial imprint?”
What better time to cross that threshold than during the month of Samhain!
LET’S GET WITCHY!
“This movie is OUT THERE. It is dark and funny and to top it all, it is a musical.”
“You look exactly like your Facebook photos, and it’s making my stomach all mushy.”
“Shared weirdness in a damp Necon hotel room.”
“I know your mom stole your whole name from her favorite telenovela.”
“The bride told me I looked like shit. Then she laughed.”
“TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”
“Easily the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever been a part of.”
“Aliens don’t give a fuck about you.”
“I have read Revelations almost 1000 times and when I saw Trump running I praised Jesus and got ready. I knew without a doubt this man had to be the Antichrist.”
“More people need to wear a panda head when they do interviews.”
“Sorry KatyCats, I think I might have just switched alliances.”
“Even today, the original has lost none of its potency.”
“Marisol is a bruja who must grapple with sexual abuse.”
“It was a radtacular time.”
“These stories get under your skin.”
“The F word is used three times in the first three sentences.”
“Palahniuk is himself a member of the Cacophony Society.”
“There was the summer my friends and I saw this kid pee on his parent’s car.”
“I think I was smoking a cigar.”
“She looked at me, my tiny jeans falling off of my concave stomach, and then wrote in my copy of the book, “Baby Steps.”
“Now we finally get our own supervillain.”
“Your father has a devil inside him.”
“How cool would it be if you actually got Cher to do a poetry zine for one of the Ladybox releases?”
Testa Di Cazzo is getting a divorce.
“If you think every other author out there is your enemy, you can go fuck yourself.”
“10/10 would chat again”
“We’re a bunch of slanted-eyed brown girls watching wide-eyed white girls being chased by a killer.”
“It felt much more like a conversation than a sort of performance of me-ness.”
“Actually, I’m a Pisces. A sad, aging emo boy in a sad, aging emo world.”
“We all smelled bad and dressed sloppy acted like we hated the place.”
“My friends were all hood rats.”
“Dreams are often a strange equalizer.”
Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT
“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”
There is no such thing as fair during times like this.”
“I felt okay about being charmless. I was going to eat ice-cream.”
“I was a religious little boy and thought Guns N’ Roses were nothing but sinners and going to hell.”
“I can’t untangle my queerness from my politics or my magickal practice.”
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
“I picture myself as Lena Dunham with a beard.”
“When I finally decided to quit drinking I had anxiety about being alone.”
“I want to make shit happen.”
“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”
“I’m still the heathen it represents, but now I’m a sober, happy heathen.”
“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”
“The anti-Trump juggler was the best.”
MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY DAY
“I have a firm belief that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.”
“Every human being gets addicted to something.’
“If you expend so much effort into being what other people desire it’ll leave you feeling empty.”
“Once he jumped on me while I was humping my pillow.”
“You can just imagine all those Chinese like a little army of yellow ants crawling over it, can’t you?”
“BRUJA is a fluid, non-linear, and organic experience.”
“I visit old people in their homes and help them with daily tasks, like cooking and cleaning and bathing.”
“When I think of people with mustaches, I think of my dad, Burt Reynolds, and cowboys.”
“My heart is a dumpster fire.”
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
“Basically, Elizabeth Ellen should win the Pulitzer Prize and then immediately be beaten to death with it because she’s so good, so human, so completely fucked.”
“My personal favorite character is a talking bathroom that literally fucks Kyle.”
“Bizarro is the Chaos Magick of literature.”
“I dreamt about Lola at night.”
“We loved Kerouac’s Mexico City Blues and Enzo wanted to read the whole book out loud. It took a long time because we got very drunk.”
“You made all of this happen with your book,” one Twitter user scolded me.”
“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”
“What does it mean to survive?”
“I can already see the glazed over eyes of anyone who dares read this shit.”
“Titles such as Wall of Kiss, Mother Puncher, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife grab your attention and make you wonder what kind of madness unfolds within those pages.”
“Old gods lurk behind the stars, old loves linger on from Earth, and Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.”
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
“We live in a time that fetishizes 80s popular culture, so wouldn’t it be rad if you developed a vaginal opening on your stomach that supports Betamax tapes?”
“Godzilla helped give me my moral compass.”
“Somewhere in between Donald Trump’s attacks on immigrants and his comments about pussy-grabbing, it became clear that public demonstrations and marches were going to become a regular part of my life.”
“I just chose the gutter to dwell in, and with what the world seems to be moving into, I think it’s a perfect place to assess and judge it.”
Danger Slater is a Bizarro writer who uses surrealism, dark humor, and a healthy dose of existential angst to create his stories.
“All of my tattoos are reflections, more or less, of visions.”
“I do not control people’s boner.”
CLASH Media catches up with Constance Ann Fitzgerald and talks about her new book, Glue.
““Platform Edge” is an urban-surreal nightmare comedy centering around
the deranged, demented and disastrous lives of two wayward housemates.”
“My grandmother made Christmas ornaments from dried apricots and sugar cookies that she baked with her own hands, a creation upon a creation. They were all tiny women, and she gave them dark hair like us, which felt like a gift to me.”
“Our abuelitas went to special masses and some of the nativity sets under our trees featured a baby Jesus that had slightly darker skin than the Jesus the gringos put under their tree.”
“Here are five cult Christmas films sure to bring something akin to holiday cheer to the perverts and creeps among us.”
“Whether you think Christmas is shit or Christmas is the shit, when you are Catalan, your Christmas is going to be full of shit. And I mean literally. And no, it doesn’t get that dirty (usually).”
“Welcome to Skin Stories, where I ask some of the most exciting voices in fiction to tell us the stories behind their tattoos.”
“I can’t stand most holidays. The idea of having to sit around with folks I spend most of the year trying to avoid out of social obligation always sets me on edge.”
“Myself and my two older sisters were never exactly Little Women but we did our best not to hate each other.”
“Amongst his many deific duties, Murray plays poet and maharishi to the various extraterrestrial corporate entities that run our universe. He keeps them merciful.”
“Entertain us with your Christmas traditions and recollections.”
“Around Christmas time I would have to set up The Singing Santa next to the lube.”
“The bad thing is here and action will be required, so learn to focus your anger and use it for good.”
“What a surreal time to be alive in all the history of the world and be who I am.”
“On November, 11th 2016, the United States will hold its first presidential inauguration for a reality TV star.”
“How can Facebook expect me to share my Facebook memories when I can’t even handle my Facebook realities?”
“I felt like I was outside myself as well as inside.”
“I didn’t realize how out of shape I was until I tried running a mile.”
“The first reported incident of death caused by the soda was in January of 2011.”
“Life is about the long game. Avoid destructive narratives. Avoid delusions of grandeur. Be simple and aware.”
“David Bowie was beautiful in life and death, but perhaps especially in death.”
“My life is shit. It’s a struggle every day. Granted, not a third world struggle with impending violence or starvation as a part of my daily experience, but I work non-stop to own nothing, make art, and keep a low credit score.”
“A Los Angeles based startup, Humai, is looking to exterminate death.”