“You probably consider yourself an honest person, but honestly, you lie all the time.”
“Since the demon, or demons, are invisible it is nearly impossible to detect them in your food.”
“Go to a crossroads & try to summon Lucifer & see what happens.”
“It was the eyes—always, her eyes.”
“The uglier parts of the show detail how they want to do what best suits them, their reputation, and their livelihood.”
“The truth is that I had all the opportunities in the world to sing and act, but I was too scared of failure, too busy comparing myself to my peers to tap into my own creativity.”
“Here’s a list of things you should do and be on the lookout for when it comes to sending someone your work.”
Madeleine Swann takes every creepy online psychology test you’ve secretly wanted to try.
Fuck, Kill, or Mary: Philip K. Dick, Dick Wolf, Dick Van Dyke?
Hey DFW fans…
LitReactor columnist and managing editor of CLASH Books, Christoph Paul, shares a great way to come up with main characters that will feel real and unique to you and your reader.
Writer and YouTuber Wizard of Cause VLOGS about why artists of all types need isolation.
Editor and author Christoph Paul explains how writing notes (and being brutally honest) about a finished draft will make you a better writer, give you better standards, and help you write books you will feel proud of.
Here a 5 tips on how to keep editors, agents, and publishers reading.
Warning: Experiment with these practices at your own risk.
Here’s some inspiration for all of you creators starting or finishing projects this year.
“No more CHRISTMAS SHIT for the rest of the night.”
What is the best path?
“The Tarot is all about accessing your subconscious and conversing with it.”
“Shake people, shock people, disturb people, terrify people, confuse people—the only way to affect change.”
“I dreamed of white veils and black habits.”
Halloween became a thing I wanted to nail in Kindergarten.
He’s reconciled the misanthrope and the romantic in a way that doesn’t feel uneven.
I enjoyed rambling through a wide range of topics.
What better time to cross that threshold than during the month of Samhain!
LET’S GET WITCHY!
“You look exactly like your Facebook photos, and it’s making my stomach all mushy.”
“Shared weirdness in a damp Necon hotel room.”
“The bride told me I looked like shit. Then she laughed.”
“TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”
“Easily the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever been a part of.”
“Aliens don’t give a fuck about you.”
“I have read Revelations almost 1000 times and when I saw Trump running I praised Jesus and got ready. I knew without a doubt this man had to be the Antichrist.”
“To fight, we need to believe in ourselves first.”
“She is not scared of owning her badness or her goodness.”
“If a great relationship with a sharp, amazing press that loves your work and hustles for you is great, then two is better, and three must be amazing.”
“More people need to wear a panda head when they do interviews.”
“Sorry KatyCats, I think I might have just switched alliances.”
“Even today, the original has lost none of its potency.”
“Marisol is a bruja who must grapple with sexual abuse.”
“It was a radtacular time.”
“In the 1980s and 90s photocopied, or Xeroxed, zines were very popular.”
“These stories get under your skin.”
“Palahniuk is himself a member of the Cacophony Society.”
“I think I was smoking a cigar.”
“She looked at me, my tiny jeans falling off of my concave stomach, and then wrote in my copy of the book, “Baby Steps.”
“Your father has a devil inside him.”
“How cool would it be if you actually got Cher to do a poetry zine for one of the Ladybox releases?”
“If you think every other author out there is your enemy, you can go fuck yourself.”
“Come to Vegas and we can go to karaoke.”
You were published this past year by Lazy Fascist Press. What was it like working with the alt-right?
“10/10 would chat again”
“It felt much more like a conversation than a sort of performance of me-ness.”
“Actually, I’m a Pisces. A sad, aging emo boy in a sad, aging emo world.”
“My friends were all hood rats.”
“Dreams are often a strange equalizer.”
Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT
In professional sports there is ALMOST never a good reason to lose, and in writing there is never a good reason to write poorly. Both are the golden rules of being ‘successful’ but what if you need to lose to get better, and need to write some shit to get better? What if losing and being shitty is part of the process to become great?
“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”
“I felt okay about being charmless. I was going to eat ice-cream.”
“I was a religious little boy and thought Guns N’ Roses were nothing but sinners and going to hell.”
“I can’t untangle my queerness from my politics or my magickal practice.”
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
“I picture myself as Lena Dunham with a beard.”
“When I finally decided to quit drinking I had anxiety about being alone.”
“I want to make shit happen.”
“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”
“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”
MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY DAY
“I have a firm belief that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.”
“Every human being gets addicted to something.’
“Once he jumped on me while I was humping my pillow.”
“You can just imagine all those Chinese like a little army of yellow ants crawling over it, can’t you?”
“BRUJA is a fluid, non-linear, and organic experience.”
“I visit old people in their homes and help them with daily tasks, like cooking and cleaning and bathing.”
“When I think of people with mustaches, I think of my dad, Burt Reynolds, and cowboys.”
“My heart is a dumpster fire.”
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
“My personal favorite character is a talking bathroom that literally fucks Kyle.”
“Bizarro is the Chaos Magick of literature.”
After a year hiatus from The Passion of the Christoph Podcast, Christoph returns for a solo show
“We loved Kerouac’s Mexico City Blues and Enzo wanted to read the whole book out loud. It took a long time because we got very drunk.”
“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”
“What does it mean to survive?”
“I can already see the glazed over eyes of anyone who dares read this shit.”
“Titles such as Wall of Kiss, Mother Puncher, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife grab your attention and make you wonder what kind of madness unfolds within those pages.”
“If you enjoy surrealistic Bizarro fiction with a heart too big to contain within its pages, then this is the collection for you.”
“Old gods lurk behind the stars, old loves linger on from Earth, and Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.”
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
“We live in a time that fetishizes 80s popular culture, so wouldn’t it be rad if you developed a vaginal opening on your stomach that supports Betamax tapes?”
“Godzilla helped give me my moral compass.”
“I just chose the gutter to dwell in, and with what the world seems to be moving into, I think it’s a perfect place to assess and judge it.”
Danger Slater is a Bizarro writer who uses surrealism, dark humor, and a healthy dose of existential angst to create his stories.
“All of my tattoos are reflections, more or less, of visions.”
“I do not control people’s boner.”
CLASH Media catches up with Constance Ann Fitzgerald and talks about her new book, Glue.
““Platform Edge” is an urban-surreal nightmare comedy centering around
the deranged, demented and disastrous lives of two wayward housemates.”
“My grandmother made Christmas ornaments from dried apricots and sugar cookies that she baked with her own hands, a creation upon a creation. They were all tiny women, and she gave them dark hair like us, which felt like a gift to me.”
“Our abuelitas went to special masses and some of the nativity sets under our trees featured a baby Jesus that had slightly darker skin than the Jesus the gringos put under their tree.”
“Here are five cult Christmas films sure to bring something akin to holiday cheer to the perverts and creeps among us.”
“Whether you think Christmas is shit or Christmas is the shit, when you are Catalan, your Christmas is going to be full of shit. And I mean literally. And no, it doesn’t get that dirty (usually).”
“Welcome to Skin Stories, where I ask some of the most exciting voices in fiction to tell us the stories behind their tattoos.”
“I can’t stand most holidays. The idea of having to sit around with folks I spend most of the year trying to avoid out of social obligation always sets me on edge.”
“Myself and my two older sisters were never exactly Little Women but we did our best not to hate each other.”
“Amongst his many deific duties, Murray plays poet and maharishi to the various extraterrestrial corporate entities that run our universe. He keeps them merciful.”
“There will always be people better than you. Some of them will always be better than you. Some are so far ahead that you can’t possibly hold a candle to them.”