Miranda’s blade cut one of the flapping wings, and she felt the salty warm blood drops touch to her mouth like rain.
With less than two weeks remaining until the premiere of the landmark twentieth season of the venerable reality series Big Brother, a question mark has been hovering above the fan community with a simple question in mind — will it be an All-Star edition? According to series producer Alison Grodner, it is not in the […]
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Yes, Clash Books is at it again, and this time they’re letting me take the wheel. If you needed more proof that these folks are crazy, look no further. In any case, hot on the heels of Tragedy Queens: Stories Inspired by Lana Del Rey & Sylvia Plath, we’re celebrating The Notorious B.I.G. and his […]
This collection of tales from the mind that brought you Shatnerquake & Cripple Wolf is dark, weird, and yes, Bizarro af.
Will there be a resolve for Jessica in Season Two?
“Practicing won’t save you from tragedy. The more you play the worse you’ll sound because you’re playing more.”
“Since the demon, or demons, are invisible it is nearly impossible to detect them in your food.”
“He ripped off McShay’s clothes and tossed them aside like they were worthless seventh-round picks as both men traded up into each others arms.”
Lowres Wunderbred’s Deconstruction series returns looking into the beloved and berated final Stanley Kubrick film.
“If you’re a fan of Bizarro or plain weird fiction in general, you should give STACKING DOLL a try.”
“It was the eyes—always, her eyes.”
Seriously, give him some pants.
“The uglier parts of the show detail how they want to do what best suits them, their reputation, and their livelihood.”
“I wanted to die. Yes, that’s it. I imagined that nothing would’ve made me happier.”
When you look like Ted Cruz/
and have a .429% shooting percentage/
the world will hate you.
Last night featured two matches in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic
Did you get bullied by crossing guards in high school?
Will there be a Scientology Bachelor?
The solution to boring ass readings!
My prediction for The Authors of Pain vs. TM61 match was only partially correct
So how do you qualify for Rick Pitino’s Health Plan?
CLASH Books will be publishing Godless Heathens: Conversations with Atheists by author Andrew J. Rausch.
The popular Deconstruction Series by LowRes Wünderbred looks at the strange conspiracy theory of Kubrick’s Moon Landing.
“Instead of recapping this week’s NXT I decided to preview the upcoming Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. “
If you thought people watching other people play video games on YouTube was stupid, you were right, but this is pretty great.
“What I’m really fascinated by is this branding of the self, turning one’s own social media performance into a deliberate consumable item.”
Film Cricket’s Oscar Bets
New release from CLASH Books up for pre-order.
“Comedy is laughing so the werewolves won’t tear you apart.”
“The truth is that I had all the opportunities in the world to sing and act, but I was too scared of failure, too busy comparing myself to my peers to tap into my own creativity.”
“Last night Johnny Gargano put his career on the line against Andrade “Cien” Almas in exchange for one last shot at the NXT belt.”
“Here’s a list of things you should do and be on the lookout for when it comes to sending someone your work.”
CLASH Books presents Issue #1 of CLASH Magazine
This is only entertaining video of someone playing a video game on YouTube.
“Here’s a closer look at just why Jeepers Creepers 3 doesn’t work…and really doesn’t even try to.”
“Somewhere around the 193rd episode, I’ve come to recognize that this ‘innocent’ cartoon is peppered with subliminal messages.”
“I spent Valentine’s Day alone but found solace in the knowledge that I shared this fate with the majority of wrestling fans.”
“Big Baller Poetry books are coming soon!”
This video made us sort of like Cloverfield Paradox.
“Hey everybody, Rickie V here, the illegitimate son of college basketball legend Dick Vitale!”
Read up Knicks, Hornets, Grizzlies, Sixers, Heat, and Cavs fans.
We have a new Cloverfield film!
Madeleine Swann takes every creepy online psychology test you’ve secretly wanted to try.
“Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the belief, that we are truly meant for someone, and it’s too late for that to happen.”
Vlogger and writer Wizard of Cause reads Howl by Allen Ginsberg on a motorcycle
Hey DFW fans…
He will be missed. RIP
YouTube has picked popular vlogger EatDatPussy445 for the starring role.
LitReactor columnist and managing editor of CLASH Books, Christoph Paul, shares a great way to come up with main characters that will feel real and unique to you and your reader.
Great White House 2 is free for this week!
Get your Tight 15 ready
YouTube announced its new minimum standards to join its partner program in 2018 and get monetization a few days ago, and it has become a very divisive issue
Writer and YouTuber Wizard of Cause VLOGS about why artists of all types need isolation.
Editor and author Christoph Paul explains how writing notes (and being brutally honest) about a finished draft will make you a better writer, give you better standards, and help you write books you will feel proud of.
I brought receipts
Breaking and Busting News!
In July of 2014 I wrote a poem about James Franco. Since then, I’ve been vocal about disliking him for a plethora of reasons. Now, five women have accused him of doing the kind of shit you could tell he did just by looking at his face. So, as a wonderful “I told you so,” here is that poem again.
Christoph Paul gives you recording tips and shares his experience of awesome, horrible, and bad recording sessions.
“When using The GrudenGrindr, you’ll work up quite an appetite, why not stop over at Hooters for their new Fire Island wings.”
Here a 5 tips on how to keep editors, agents, and publishers reading.
Warning: Experiment with these practices at your own risk.
Here’s some inspiration for all of you creators starting or finishing projects this year.
“At first, I didn’t feel any pain, but then I ended up falling down a flight of stairs while carrying an air conditioner.”
LowRes Wünderbred’s Deconstructing Series returns focusing on Tim Burton’s Batman sequel.
The most important poem of 2018.
Everything you wanted to know about Bitcoin is here in this video!
Meet Buffalo, he hates Trolls even more than you do.
“Some of the narratives on this list need to fuck off and disappear forever, but others may or may not become amazing stories in the right hands.”
“Watching them win this money, I started to feel like I had squandered my life.”
“The Disaster Artist shows us what it means to create, expose ourselves, and the risks of showing something at the world and have it look back.”
If you couldn’t make it to BizarroCon Madeleine Swann is here share the experience with you.
“The most screwed up thing about The Die-Fi Experiment is that it’s not that far from reality.”
Roy Moore was banned from a mall for his behavior of harassing young women.
“I don’t remember any of this. To be clear, my lack of memory is because of the Xanax.”
Tax Cut Party 2017!!!
Spoiler Alert: The entertainment industry hates you.
“I Will Buy You a New Life” is the most moving rock song of the 1990s about desperation and relationships.
Squishy the fat cat > Jay Cutler
The Internet agrees Net Neutrality should not to be fucked with
Singularity Roger Ebert Returns to review the controversial and no longer distributed film I Love You, Daddy.
“This was not an interview, it was a conversation.”
The popular Lowres Wunderbred Deconstructing series is back looking at David Lynch’s One Saliva Bubble
Lit couple and editors of CLASH, Christoph Paul & Leza Cantoral, debate on what are the top 3 witch movies of the decade.
“Shake people, shock people, disturb people, terrify people, confuse people—the only way to affect change.”
“I dreamed of white veils and black habits.”
“I’m not just a history geek, I’m an art geek.”
“Our managing editor Christoph Paul vlogs about his love of the new Netflix series Mindhunters.”
Video review of new horror films “Happy Death Day” and Never Hike Alone.
This is awesome!
“That’s about the most direct insult we’ve heard of from a high-ranking member of the government, and something it’s easy to suspect other officials echoing behind closed doors.”
The writer and creator behind 90210, Younger, Sex & The City, and beloved Melrose Place once again faces a disappointing Nobel day.
LET’S GET WITCHY!
New episode of The Passion of the Christoph, talking football, politics, racism, and Dante from Clerks.
Roger Ebert has been reanimated through the process of Singularity and is now reviewing movies.
“LowRes Wünderbred’s deconstructing series is back looking at what could have been with George A Romero directing Resident Evil.”
“The bride told me I looked like shit. Then she laughed.”
Sponsored content from anti-Soy activist SOYBOY
“The boys talk about Ted Cruz’s step mom porno love, why Baked Alaska is a scumbag, PewDiePie getting racist while gaming, the allegations of Louis CK, and why managing a political debate Facebook group is a fucking nightmare.”
New episode of The Passion of the Christoph
“Christoph Paul’s cult podcast is back!”
Jason Voorheesberg takes a break from killing Vermont Hippies and reviews the books: Now That We’re Alone by Nicholas Day, White Trash Gothic by Edward Lee, Spermjackers From Hell by Christine Morgan.
“Who is sexier Brad Pitt or a T-Rex?”
“You are very critical of micropresses/small presses using P.O.D. but you have to admit Youth of the Nation is a good song.”
There’s a group of weird contrarians who’ve decided they’re not getting their 3Ps because of someone else: Corporations, Immigrants, Banks and/or Jews, Feminists and/or Feminazis, African-Americans, the Man, etc.
“Cary Fukunaga’s stylistic approach mixed with, arguably, Stephen King’s best or most beloved novel would seem like a match made in heaven… right?”
“Then somebody, I don’t remember who, started playing “I Wanna Be Your Dog” by The Stooges.”
“Come to Vegas and we can go to karaoke.”
This episode gets a 5 out of 5 for campy sexy time.
GLOW had me hooked immediately and Nash and Maron are just supporting characters.
When horror authors get big press distribution, it always exciting news. Two books are out today and both of them look awesome.
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
So I went to see The Circle even though it had a 17% Rotten Tomato…
“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”
“The anti-Trump juggler was the best.”
Philip Levine or Billy Collins who makes better lasagna? Follow up question, who is the better poet Blink 182 or Billy Collins?
“You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. It’s a personality. My humor is an attitude.”
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
After a year hiatus from The Passion of the Christoph Podcast, Christoph returns for a solo show
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
“Here we go, another round of the Pizza Party…”
“In a country that is virtually bipartisan, you can not fight an extreme with anything other than another extreme.”
“No, this one isn’t satire…”
“Violence, vendettas, and vaporware. These are the hallmarks of the revenge thriller known as ROTTEN.”
“Suicide Squad: Extended Cut just hit Amazon and iTunes yesterday and fans are already rejoicing over the extra minute and a half of footage featuring Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) and The Joker (Jared Leto). But don’t get too excited.”
“We geeked out about politics for 4 hours.”
“This movie is like CALVAIRE, but funnier. It’s completely absurd and surreal.”
“you not rrrh rot
dot n dot n dot per rot
dot n not n dot per
n dot chi cot n dot rrr ah
dot dot ki o ma gri a dot
dot ers a pa ta ko”
This poem should at least get some Google hits.
“Oblivion is only a lap dance away, and even when you leave, you’re never really gone. We take a piece of you, as payment, an offering to our humble little establishment.”
“That’s not your face.”
“I know so many people who hate Clinton as much as I hated my old government job.”
“What’s remarkable about these stories is Evenson’s ability to turn familiar, mundane things into objects of terror.”
“I know what you’re thinking: why Kid Rock? Why not Limp Bizkit or Uncle Kracker or some other horrible nü-metal band scraped out of the armpit of the late 90s?”
“I didn’t know who the hell this Brian guy was, but I did want to fuck her.”
“Single people are annoying and people in relationships are annoying.”
“She rides that mushroom pole and flips upside down, with her legs spread high above her head. Her big blue eyes and red lips are innocence and corruption made flesh.”
“The cameraman wore a black suit with white gloves and a shiny red shirt. A large, handheld video camera obscured his face. The lens pointed right at me.”
“I have two weapons; my arms, my legs, and my brain.”
“It’s a relief to find someone you enjoy working with. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to know if you like working with someone is when you actually do it.”
“The Hike is now out from Viking Press.”
“Some people are making the whole police brutality crisis in the US look like it’s only a race problem, and I’m sorry but it’s not just a race problem. Racism is just a small part of the problem.”
“Be human. People hate bots.”
“I enjoy a good, brain dead action film every now and then as much as the next guy.”
“Christoph Paul asks some tough questions to phone sex actress and author Jenny Ainsile-Turner
“In his less-than-five minute tirade Watson does something very unique while presenting his case. He relies on facts, not feelings. A novel concept.”
“Patriots Day is scheduled to open in limited release on Dec. 21 in New York, Los Angeles and Boston prior to its national release on Jan. 13.”