Cartoonists are just disgruntled rock stars at heart.
Here are all the time-honored tropes in one convenient checklist
CLASH knows you’re creative, so let’s share that awesomeness with the world!
We want to hear your horror stories, be they real or the product of your own twisted minds.
“If you haven’t seen this one, you’ve robbed yourself of all the basic joyful, terrifying treasures that Christmas has to offer.”
“One woman even has a demon dog named Cerberus come out of her backside chomping away at her opponents. Hip Whip Girl forever!”
“These are stories for when you cry looking at a mirror and ask harsh questions about who the fuck is staring back at you.”
“You just have to stare at a screen and let the monsters come at you.”
“Your eyes bleed, your soul cries, but you can’t fucking stop.”
Brian Keene has single-handedly rewritten the zombie genre with THE RISING and its sequel, CITY OF THE DEAD.
A group of people get trapped inside a movie theater filled with demons.
LET’S GET WITCHY!
“If you watch this and don’t get turned on you are officially a corpse.”
“Entertain us with your Christmas traditions and recollections.”
“Not recommended for: novice trippers, Reagan Republicrats, copywriters with ideals intact (both of you), nor especially RayBan-wearing dictators.”
“There was no way I could do a body horror list and not include Brian Yuzna’s Society.”
“Eat the apple. Drink the drink. Eat the pot brownies from the wicked witch.”
“Guaranteed to give you and your potential lay the weirdest boners imaginable, lady or otherwise.”
“Escaped psychopaths? Check. Teenaged babysitters? Check. Buckets of blood? Check. Yet some of the films on the following list also offer plots that at least try to bring something different to the table.”
“Sometimes the strange, the ugly, the grotesque and the frightful come together and form something truly amazing.”
“There is only one way to get rid of temptation and that is to yield to it. Resist it, the soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.”
“Occult horror blends with giallo-type murders into an unforgettable artistic nightmare.”
“This is a going-away party. So, please: Go away.”
“The Joker would probably just say, ‘Fuck you,’ and hang up.”
“This week was inspired by Melania Trump’s (or should I say Michelle Obama’s) speech at the RNC. I wanted to remind readers of some of the more inspirational first ladies the United States has had.”
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
“Must eat more fat people. Thank God, I’m in America.”
“I hate saying, ‘I like exercising’ — I want to punch people who say that.”
“You know, outside the circus, most people were afraid of me.”