“Practicing won’t save you from tragedy. The more you play the worse you’ll sound because you’re playing more.”
“He ripped off McShay’s clothes and tossed them aside like they were worthless seventh-round picks as both men traded up into each others arms.”
Seriously, give him some pants.
When you look like Ted Cruz/
and have a .429% shooting percentage/
the world will hate you.
Last night featured two matches in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic
My prediction for The Authors of Pain vs. TM61 match was only partially correct
So how do you qualify for Rick Pitino’s Health Plan?
“Instead of recapping this week’s NXT I decided to preview the upcoming Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. “
“Last night Johnny Gargano put his career on the line against Andrade “Cien” Almas in exchange for one last shot at the NXT belt.”
“I spent Valentine’s Day alone but found solace in the knowledge that I shared this fate with the majority of wrestling fans.”
“Big Baller Poetry books are coming soon!”
“Hey everybody, Rickie V here, the illegitimate son of college basketball legend Dick Vitale!”
Read up Knicks, Hornets, Grizzlies, Sixers, Heat, and Cavs fans.
“LeBron James’ decision to leave Cleveland for Miami in the summer of 2010 is one of the most memorable sports stories of this decade.”
I brought receipts
“When using The GrudenGrindr, you’ll work up quite an appetite, why not stop over at Hooters for their new Fire Island wings.”
Big 12 and Nebraska fans did not like this vlog.
Squishy the fat cat > Jay Cutler
It was not politics that made me believe Trump was a scumbag, it was a sports documentary that was part of ESPN’s 30 for 30 series Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL?
“I know your mom stole your whole name from her favorite telenovela.”
“Palahniuk is himself a member of the Cacophony Society.”
In professional sports there is ALMOST never a good reason to lose, and in writing there is never a good reason to write poorly. Both are the golden rules of being ‘successful’ but what if you need to lose to get better, and need to write some shit to get better? What if losing and being shitty is part of the process to become great?
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY DAY
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
“Godzilla helped give me my moral compass.”
“Whether you think Christmas is shit or Christmas is the shit, when you are Catalan, your Christmas is going to be full of shit. And I mean literally. And no, it doesn’t get that dirty (usually).”
“I am a huge Miami Dolphin fan and for the first time and what feels like forever, I enjoyed watching them play football.”
“You ever watch them teen movies where the girl with glasses that acts like nerd becomes hot. I’m like the nerd girl of quarterbacks, but I ain’t ever going to get hot.”
“They’re fucking beautiful.
Size Five just like I like.
Better feet than Vinateri
has in the fourth quarter.”
“Durant declined to comment on why he chose cheat codes. Speculation says he could feel his fingers were not as flexible as they once were and the cheat codes could give him more time to focus on defense and passing.”
“When the Miami Heat offered him a 2-year deal with a 50% pay cut to play for ten million a year instead of his usual ten million, it was his pride more than his pocketbook that got hurt.”
“If the Cavs win Donald Trump has no chance to win the election. He needs Ohio and West Pennsylvania citizens to be as miserable as possible to give him any hope of becoming president.”
“Being a really tall and muscular white boy is better than being in a boy band in the late 90’s”
“There are two types of Miami Dolphin fans: one group that needs something to do on a Sunday, because they are still high on coke from partying Saturday night; the other is people who equate home, family, and regional pride with watching the Miami Dolphins on Sunday.”