The Cabin In The Woods Ritual Workout

I let each client unwittingly summon their own workout monster.


2018 NFL Draft Erotica

“He ripped off McShay’s clothes and tossed them aside like they were worthless seventh-round picks as both men traded up into each others arms.”

Author Alexander Boldizar Interviewed by Christoph Paul

One of the earliest reviews I received said, “A full on satire of contemporary law as mesmerizing and complex as something lost from David Foster Wallace, yet as light in tone as A Confederacy of Dunces.” First I was flattered, thrilled, and then I thought, wait, didn’t both those guys kill themselves?

#the Tao of Murray

“Amongst his many deific duties, Murray plays poet and maharishi to the various extraterrestrial corporate entities that run our universe. He keeps them merciful.”

How To Rot With Danger Slater

“Danger Slater is the stand up comic of the Bizarro Fiction scene. He has googly eyes, a big heart, and a mind that is teeming with dark and forbidden secrets.”

New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes Chat Room Transcript

“Below is a leaked transcript from the New Jersey 3rd Circuit Court. It is a conversation of a 3 man chat room group: New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes. This conversation contains very offensive material and Clash Media does not support these sentiments or the Juggalos.”

God’s Suicide Note

“Last night the lifeless body of God was found on the floor of its apartment in the Sagittarius arm, near the center of the milk way galaxy.”

All Fetuses Go To Heaven: A Children’s Story on Abortion

“Once upon a time in a magical place named New Jersey there was a young woman named Jane. She had pretty blond hair and liked to drink magical juice that made her forget how boring College was: a place where people read magical books to make their brains bigger…”