WHY STORIES ABOUT SATAN ARE STILL IN FASHION

Perhaps Satan is lurking in all those terms and conditions no one ever feels like reading

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Michael Kindt (1968-2017)

“We’re saddened to announce that we lost a member of the CLASH family this week. Author and CLASH journalist Michael Kindt (April 14th, 1968 – February 21st, 2017) passed away unexpectedly at the age of 48.”

The Christmas Poop of Catalan

“Whether you think Christmas is shit or Christmas is the shit, when you are Catalan, your Christmas is going to be full of shit. And I mean literally. And no, it doesn’t get that dirty (usually).”

Stay Angry

“The bad thing is here and action will be required, so learn to focus your anger and use it for good.”

I’ve Become Radicalized

“America, and by that I mean the United States because America is much bigger and full of non-US residents, was never great, but these kids deserve to grow up in a place that’s less divisive, less stupid, less racist and sexist and homophobic. “

We Do Not Live in Nazi Germany

“I’m a humanist and feel disconnected with the construct of your job being your identity. That’s capitalism. That’s what divides us. ‘Us vs. Them’ is not going to solve any issues.”

America Has Lost Its Touch

“The police cannot be trusted to not abuse their power. Our elected officials at be are failing to protect us. And we refuse to communicate with one.”

Two Sides of the Same Coin

“I would like for people to see that when you criticize a religion, you are talking about an idea, a concept. But if you extend your criticism to all religious people, then it’s discrimination.”

Santa Sangre: An Appreciation

“Where other films would shy away from the weird or cut away before things get ugly, Jodorowsky grabs the viewer by the collar and drags them into the thick of it.”

I’ve Given Up on Amy Schumer

“I understand it must be very obnoxious to be hounded for pictures constantly and to be filmed by strangers, but to bring the man’s daughter into it and imply that he was teaching her that rape was okay is a bizarre approach to say the least.”

Why I Love Lovey Banh

“There are too many authors out there calling what they do their “craft.” There are too many wordslingers with annoying author pages on Facebook, too many word count statuses, and too many people celebrating the release of their latest homemade, limited edition poetry chapbook. Then along comes author Lovey Banh and shatters the world.”

Ask Maddie: Bizarro Advice Column

“I was trying to invoke Satan and accidentally invoked the ghost of Margaret Thatcher instead. Now she’s bugging me, telling me about how privatizations can help my country. How do I get rid of her?”

Delicate & Destructive: An Essay on Prince

“…if someone like Prince came up in your local scene, he or she would probably be ostracized for caring about musicianship and guitar work, for playing over the top solos, for creating original content, or for dressing and acting pretentious.”

Apper’s Delight: Social Media & Hip Hop

“Yo Gotti cracked the US Top 40 for the first time in his career with a track titled “Down in the DM”. The song is a tribute to a popular feature on many social media applications known as Direct Messaging (or DMing).”

Bulker

“Here’s a bulker, as opposed to a tanker. These girls haul dry stuff, like coal and iron ore. If one takes on water, it won’t screw the whole damn boat.”

A Personal Retrospective on Voting

“I see this hope in the eyes of young Bernie supporters, and I am literally seeing the same things. They are saying the exact stuff I would say when I was all for Obama. They say this time it’s different. Sanders will make a change.”

Domestic Madness

“I don’t mean to piss on anyone’s solid foundation, but my misery comes from the projection of others’ values on my life. There’s no measuring stick for effective living aside from how many good moments you can have and share in a day.”

White History Month

“Every race has a swollen ego. It’s a biological imperative to write yourself as the hero to your story. Every demographic in America has a storyline writing them as the ideal heirs to the current power structure, and that’s really the american dream.”

The Redundancy of Names

“I don’t get the name Cobblers for a team. I’m sure I could dial up a reasoning and a history for the name on the internet, but fuck that shit, man. I groove on mystery.”

1%

“Those who have the resources to change the world for the better don’t want to because they cannot profit from it. They don’t give a shit about your problems. They only invest in things that can produce benefits.”

The Case for Grandpa Bernie

“I am, indeed, a capitalist, but I consider myself a reasonable one. America is a capitalist nation, at it’s heart, but we have embraced socialistic tendencies and thought on numerous occasions before. Generally, it was all brought about by the great FDR and the even Greater Depression.”

The Importance of Faith

“What do you believe? Who do you trust? Where does your loyalty lie? Understanding the meaning of faith requires appreciation of context and subjectivity.”

“Did You Mean: Oppressive”

“I came across this news article talking about how Italian museums covered statues of nude women in order to avoid offending the president of Iran.

I’m sorry, but what is this shit?”

White-Washing: Hollywood’s Racist Staple

“White-washing is a systematic form of racism in Hollywood where a character of color is played by a Caucasian actor or actress. This is unfortunately nothing new. Hollywood has been white-washing for ages.”

Glenn Beck: Pig Fucker

“I had to do some driving today, and rather than listen to Bowie like I have been, incessantly, for the last few days, I put on talk radio.”

Why You Need God

“We use god to explain the misery and cruelty in ourselves and others or we use god to explain bad or good experiences that are a part of the objective nature of existing. But, life happens with or without him. “

The Gentrification of San Francisco

“I’m a little more callous, a little more cynical. Even so, I am not the only one that would say with absolute certainty that this is not the same city it was 10 years ago.”

Is Caitlyn Jenner Still a Man?

“Whoa, wait, don’t light up your torches yet, let’s have a grown up conversation before you guys burn my house to the ground in the name of social justice.”

Paper Boy

“I used to deliver papers. It wasn’t a childhood thing. I was a grown man, a very poor grown man.”

Ode to Lemmy Kilmister

“Lemmy was the singer and bassist for Motörhead, a band so badass that if they moved in next door to you, your lawn would immediately die. When my son texted with the news, I was devastated and I buried my face in a pillow and cried like a little bitch.”

Greasing the Shaft

“Saudi Arabia may be in an oil price war with U.S., but overall, dirty energy is in a price war with green energy.”

You’re Probably a Piece of Shit, Just Admit It

“How often have you posted vague Facebook statuses or written tweets about people in your life you dislike? Not that often, right? Well guess what, if you have once–just once–you’re a piece of shit. You’re a turd. You’re a cretin and you deserve to know it.”

To Be Read While Blasting ‘Prison Song’ By System Of A Down

“A recent presentation by Corrections Corp of America touted the coming growth of the private prison business. It was geared toward potential investors and had a very bullish outlook on locking people up for profit, which is a good thing for the economy–and since we all want the economy to be good, yay, locking people up for profit!”

“Eats A Mean Pussy”

“… is what I successfully prevented myself from putting in the ‘special skills’ section of this job application I’m filling out.”

Why Bernie Sanders Isn’t The Candidate For ‘Change‘

“Bernie Sanders has been the political ‘it boy’ for a while now. There’s no question that he has a large, adoring fan base of young idealists pushing his campaign. They’ve driven his success to this point. But is Bernie really the candidate for ‘change’ that he’s been toted to be?”

Jules Verne, Bitch

“Have you ever read him? I bet you haven’t because only recently have his works, his actual works, become available in English.”

The Malfunctioning of America

“The purpose, as we all know, of a study is to give an agenda the appearance of scientific authority. Grant money must be justified, and the giver of the grant appeased. In this day and age a study is a form of marketing, a pretty good one, and certainly better than a commercial.”

Alabama Drafts New Version of Jesus

“In light of the Paris attacks, Governor Robert Bentley announced on November 15th he is refusing Syrian refugees in Alabama. Along with this announcement, the entire state of Alabama agreed upon a final ink to paper redrafting of one of the main characters in their favorite divine document, The Bible.”

The Paris Attacks: Lets Us Find Solidarity

“Maybe the fact that we are reacting to the Paris attacks so viscerally, compared with Lebanon, Kenya and other parts of the world is not because these events are less significant, and in fact they are horrifyingly worse, but the reaction is because, as Americans we feel closer and more tied to Paris, just as one might react more emotionally to an accident involving a friend, family member or loved one, then a story only heard on the news involving strangers.”