You think you recognize this deal with the devil, but there’s another element at play
These movies are unique, horrifying, and dare to scare like so few do
We want to hear your horror stories, be they real or the product of your own twisted minds.
Books to chill your bones & twist your minds from CLASH Books
Sharon pooped. Then, Elizabeth pooped. Then, Sharon pooped again, ensuring the cup was overflowing.
It’s the equivalent of being pushed into the ocean without warning, and you’re forced to decide if you’re sinking or swimming—I swam.
From the creator of Carnivàle and writer/executive producer of Blacklist, comes a poetry collection from a cult-icon.
“As expected, they are pretty awesome and it’s a fascinating and entertaining look at the cult-icon of weird’s work.”
The term “genius” gets thrown around a lot but I definitely feel Chelsea Martin is genius as fuck.
Ten first date movies guaranteed to either get you blocked on social media or help you find the love of your life.
“I’ve seen very few popular movies where black people get to be fully expressive complex humans.”
“What if Superman’s ship didn’t crash in Kansas, but landed on the other side of the world in Soviet controlled Ukraine?”
Will there be a Scientology Bachelor?
Film Cricket’s Oscar Bets
We have a new Cloverfield film!
“Tiamat is like Marilyn Manson for metalheads.”
“Haneke reminds us that humans are all damaged shitbags.”
“Leza and I took a strange and wonderful journey together.”
“In 2006 Warner Bros. rushed a Green Lantern film into pre-production written by Saturday Night Live and Late Night with Conan O’Brien‘s Robert Smigel that would have starred Jack Black.”
“This game of treating women like auction block meat is older than Hollywood itself.”
LowRes Wünderbred’s Deconstructing Series returns focusing on Tim Burton’s Batman sequel.
“So this summer I was helping out on this farm with all these anarchist witches & stuff.”
“I thought a blog would give me direction but it kinda didn’t do that at all. It kinda made me more aimless.”
“If you haven’t seen this one, you’ve robbed yourself of all the basic joyful, terrifying treasures that Christmas has to offer.”
Meet Buffalo, he hates Trolls even more than you do.
“I paid the premium to sign off on everyday America because the manufactured rage of adulthood needs to be exorcised.”
“The Disaster Artist shows us what it means to create, expose ourselves, and the risks of showing something at the world and have it look back.”
“Scenes of vaudevillian grotesquery abound in Trash Humpers.”
The editors and couple of CLASH talk about the best or worst movie (depending on your opinion) of the year.
“This is weird. Very, very weird. This is so fucking weird. My hands are shaking as I type.”
“This was not an interview, it was a conversation.”
“Reuniting the Frog Brothers? Going back to the well for inspiration? All sounded on the upswing. Then ‘The Thirst’ begins…”
“You just have to stare at a screen and let the monsters come at you.”
The popular Lowres Wunderbred Deconstructing series is back looking at David Lynch’s One Saliva Bubble
Lit couple and editors of CLASH, Christoph Paul & Leza Cantoral, debate on what are the top 3 witch movies of the decade.
“Eyes are kept open, lined with small needles, lest they blink and let loose the blood.”
“Why the fuck did they make another movie about evil children.”
It was possibly the funkiest and most relaxed interview setting I’ve ever been in.
Video review of new horror films “Happy Death Day” and Never Hike Alone.
it balances the tough terrain of a horror comedy. It works because it is more a horror film than comedy, but has enough heart and more than enough laughs.
A group of people get trapped inside a movie theater filled with demons.
I enjoyed rambling through a wide range of topics.
LET’S GET WITCHY!
“This movie is OUT THERE. It is dark and funny and to top it all, it is a musical.”
“LowRes Wünderbred’s deconstructing series is back looking at what could have been with George A Romero directing Resident Evil.”
Sponsored content from anti-Soy activist SOYBOY
“Mad Max: Fury Road level survival intensified by the worst Burning Man acid trip.”
“Easily the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever been a part of.”
“Aliens don’t give a fuck about you.”
“If you watch this and don’t get turned on you are officially a corpse.”
“More people need to wear a panda head when they do interviews.”
“Even today, the original has lost none of its potency.”
“It was a radtacular time.”
“Was it the latent sexuality of Fukunaga’s script that pushed Warner Bros away, or the Lovecraftian aspects that made it too abstract?”
“Was it the latent sexuality of Fukunaga’s script that pushed Warner Bros away, or the Lovecraftian aspects that made it too abstract?”
“The F word is used three times in the first three sentences.”
“Palahniuk is himself a member of the Cacophony Society.”
“She looked at me, my tiny jeans falling off of my concave stomach, and then wrote in my copy of the book, “Baby Steps.”
“The panels ooze with demented sexuality, brutality and, uh, eyeball licking.”
“Cary Fukunaga’s stylistic approach mixed with, arguably, Stephen King’s best or most beloved novel would seem like a match made in heaven… right?”
Yo, this is creepy and gory. So if that is not is your thing, don’t click play. If it is your thing–your welcome.
“We’re a bunch of slanted-eyed brown girls watching wide-eyed white girls being chased by a killer.”
Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT
“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”
There is no such thing as fair during times like this.”
“I want to make shit happen.”
“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”
So I went to see The Circle even though it had a 17% Rotten Tomato…
“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”
“You’ll be grateful for the nightmares.”
“If you expend so much effort into being what other people desire it’ll leave you feeling empty.”
“When I think of people with mustaches, I think of my dad, Burt Reynolds, and cowboys.”
“My heart is a dumpster fire.”
“You can probably read the book faster than an acid trip lasts .”
“Spring Breakers and Gummo specifically pop to mind.”
“I first saw Mother’s Day when I was thirteen.”
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
“Basically, Elizabeth Ellen should win the Pulitzer Prize and then immediately be beaten to death with it because she’s so good, so human, so completely fucked.”
“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
“We live in a time that fetishizes 80s popular culture, so wouldn’t it be rad if you developed a vaginal opening on your stomach that supports Betamax tapes?”
“Violence, vendettas, and vaporware. These are the hallmarks of the revenge thriller known as ROTTEN.”
“Here are five cult Christmas films sure to bring something akin to holiday cheer to the perverts and creeps among us.”
“Amongst his many deific duties, Murray plays poet and maharishi to the various extraterrestrial corporate entities that run our universe. He keeps them merciful.”
“Entertain us with your Christmas traditions and recollections.”
“The first entry in the crime trinity, starring Thomas Speed, Ivana Bellorado, and Mike Mike, written by Joel Amat Güell and Jayme Karales, and directed by Jayme Karales, is now online. “
“I just hope you like the color red.”
“Not recommended for: novice trippers, Reagan Republicrats, copywriters with ideals intact (both of you), nor especially RayBan-wearing dictators.”
“There was no way I could do a body horror list and not include Brian Yuzna’s Society.”
“Eat the apple. Drink the drink. Eat the pot brownies from the wicked witch.”
“Guaranteed to give you and your potential lay the weirdest boners imaginable, lady or otherwise.”
“This movie is like CALVAIRE, but funnier. It’s completely absurd and surreal.”
“Escaped psychopaths? Check. Teenaged babysitters? Check. Buckets of blood? Check. Yet some of the films on the following list also offer plots that at least try to bring something different to the table.”
“Never in all my years of watching cinema have I been so simultaneously perplexed and unnerved by a film.”
“Sometimes the strange, the ugly, the grotesque and the frightful come together and form something truly amazing.”
“Sometimes I use movies as a gauge whether or not it’s going to work out between me and a romantic partner.”
“There is only one way to get rid of temptation and that is to yield to it. Resist it, the soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.”
“Occult horror blends with giallo-type murders into an unforgettable artistic nightmare.”
“NO LITTLE BITCHES!”
“CLASH wants your creepy stories!”
“Devastating, surreal, stylistic, and beautiful, One More Time with Feeling is the story of a man bleeding out, who takes the time to scrawl out a final goodbye.”
“Every night he asks me the same question. “Will you sleep with me?”
“What starts as a dare among friends, becomes an encounter with the otherworldly, the horrific.”
“There’s a midget clown covered in swastikas that speaks Spanish, because why not?”
“Fight Club is a story of a man’s journey to finally being able to commit to a woman”
“BONED is a sexy, strange, and heartfelt story about fighting for what you love, no matter how insane the obstacles and how bizarre the stakes.”
“Single people are annoying and people in relationships are annoying.”
“So the best movie of the summer and maybe the best horror film of the year is about white kids in Detroit robbing a blind guy.”
“The Joker would probably just say, ‘Fuck you,’ and hang up.”
“Warner Bros. has decided to move forward with the official sequel to Man of Steel, which a trusted CLASH insider is saying has been tentatively titled Superman: Man of Tomorrow.”
“It’s a relief to find someone you enjoy working with. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to know if you like working with someone is when you actually do it.”
“While the film was generally entertaining, it really offered some genuinely head scratching moments…”
“What did The Cinematologist think of David Ayer’s latest film and the newest entry into the DC Extended Universe?”
“There is an insisting that she be viewed as a happy-go-lucky victim who has endured a trauma and is trying to move on. But Harley Quinn isn’t a scrappy, underdog feminist hero – she’s Myra Hindley.”
“This film looks dark and damn good.”
“Batman: The Killing Joke (directed by Sam Liu) is a film that, on paper, should have been dazzling and yet has found itself with a lack of support among fans and general audiences alike.”
“This week The Cinematologist takes a look at the viral video turned feature film Lights Out.”
“The first 7 minutes of the upcoming UnHollywood Films/CLASH Media Production WIZARD (2017, directed by Jayme Karales) has been released online through the UnHollywood Films Vimeo channel.”
“After publicly speaking out against Ghostbusters and Paul Feig last week–which resulted in being blocked by the Ghostbusters director on Twitter–The Cinematologist is back this week with a review for the remake/reboot of the 1984 Ivan Reitman classic.”
“I enjoy a good, brain dead action film every now and then as much as the next guy.”
“A vicious dialogue has erupted around the Ghostbusters reboot. This week The Cinematologist steps out of character to answer the question, can this kind of dialogue be encouraged?”
“Max (Louis C.K.) is a spoiled terrier who enjoys a comfortable life in a New York building until his owner adopts Duke (Eric Stonestreet), a giant and unruly canine.”
“Patriots Day is scheduled to open in limited release on Dec. 21 in New York, Los Angeles and Boston prior to its national release on Jan. 13.”
“In less than five minutes Landis manages to unpack everything wrong with social media and the entitlement that comes with its whiny occupants.”
“To celebrate fans both overreacting and jumping to conclusions over reshoots for the upcoming Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, due later this year, CLASH writer Amy Nguyen presents the Top 10 No Chill Quotes From Star Wars.”
“The Cinematologist is back and this week he’s reviewing the horror sequel The Purge: Election Year, released earlier this week.”
“The Cinematologist is back and this week he’s reviewing the smash horror hit The Conjuring 2, released earlier this year.”
“We are currently accepting pitches and samples of scripted, self-produced short films and both scripted and unscripted web-series (currently airing or not) for online distribution.”
“The Cinematologist is back and this week he’s reviewing the first-person, Sharlto Copley starring vehicle Hardcore Henry.”
“An incredible stylistic masterpiece, Refn’s latest film combines a high fashion plot set in L.A. with a tale of what women will do for beauty, fame, and the lengths they’ll go to maintain their positions in the industry.”
“CLASH Media is proud to present its new original series of movie reviews brought to you by Jacob A. Miller – The Cinematologist. Each week The Cinematologist will offer fresh takes on the latest films released in theaters.”
“Today Warner Bros and DC Films announced that the R rated Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition is coming to theaters across the country for one night only. “
“The soundtrack is amazing, the casting is perfect, and you kind of fall in love with Colin Farrell despite his serial killer mustache.”
“What the fuck?”
“Eli Roth + Death Wish Remake = We Are Fucking Excited”
“Star Trek and Green Room actor Anton Yelchin was found dead earlier this morning in an unusual car accident.”
Did a robot just write a spiritual sequel to The Room in space?
“Where other films would shy away from the weird or cut away before things get ugly, Jodorowsky grabs the viewer by the collar and drags them into the thick of it.”
“It’s not hard to see it as a pioneering piece of genre cinema.”
“I hate saying, ‘I like exercising’ — I want to punch people who say that.”
“You know, outside the circus, most people were afraid of me.”
“What is your favorite Vietnam War film, a good friend of mine asked me today. I took a moment and thought about it and answered The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”
“We shouldn’t stop at Ghostbusters. We aren’t misogynists or racists, we are film lovers. We want purity.”
“I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.”
“I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person, and when I become interested in something, I give it my all.”
“Nobody has ever said, “This movie is going to suck because it stars four women.”
“Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.”
“YouTube editor and comedian Harrison Jeffs has edited, quite possibly, the most amusing video on the internet this week.”
“Green Room presents a stark depiction of brutal violence.”
“In honor of Captain America: Civil War premiering domestically this past weekend, CLASH writer Amy Ngyuen has provided her Top 10 Tinder Profiles To Use By The Cast of Captain America: Civil War.”