Miranda’s blade cut one of the flapping wings, and she felt the salty warm blood drops touch to her mouth like rain.
All Hail the House Gods is a future masterpiece of Bizarro fiction.
CLASH Books is excited to present GIRL LIKE A BOMB. Autumn Christian’s third novel is a dark journey of self-discovery.
This collection of tales from the mind that brought you Shatnerquake & Cripple Wolf is dark, weird, and yes, Bizarro af.
TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology of stories inspired by two of my favorite muses. I have always been drawn to dark feminine archetypes.
—there’s a part of you that wonders: I don’t know, maybe Bud knows some people with tigers in their veins.
You’ll find yourself asking the question: What have I done for love, and what would I do?
Is there a Satanic conspiracy, is it all a desperate author’s insanity, or is it something else entirely?
Meekings takes traditional fantasy elements and reinvents them into a dark and fun tale for the young at heart.
“He ripped off McShay’s clothes and tossed them aside like they were worthless seventh-round picks as both men traded up into each others arms.”
Which is your muse? Plath, Lana, or both?
CLASH Books is excited to present this collection of stories inspired by Lana Del Rey & Sylvia Plath.
Being on Get Lit is like talking to the cool girl in the bar bathroom, only you’re talking about literature and other awesome shit instead of crying about something.
In an apocalyptic Texas where you can get high drinking your own shadow, there lives a young shadow junkie named Murk. This is from Brian Allen Carr’s breakout novel, Sip.
What did you do in Amsterdam?
Shy Watson: oh my god what didn’t i do
“Go to a crossroads & try to summon Lucifer & see what happens.”
“Absolutely Golden is a far-out tale that grooves right along.”
“It was the eyes—always, her eyes.”
“What if Superman’s ship didn’t crash in Kansas, but landed on the other side of the world in Soviet controlled Ukraine?”
“We talked about life and writing in the same way that poets talk about love: straight forward and with no bullshit.”
New release from CLASH Books up for pre-order.
“Tanzer aspires to the coolness that comes with trying but making it seem like you’re not trying, which is exactly how good writing is, and one of the reasons that Be Cool feels so effortless to read.”
CLASH BOOKS has your Valentine’s Day covered with two juicy new releases!
“There is something spicy & sensual about the warm taste of ginger on your tongue.”
“We are not defined by our traumas, we are not defined by our traumas, we are not defined by our traumas.”
“There are plenty of zines and lit sites that give authors a platform to talk about their favorite seltzer water and convince everyone they use a typewriter, which is great and all, but that’s not what this is.”
“It’s a creepy yarn that opens with a birth scene and ends with you losing your whole fucking mind.”
“Born and raised in a small harbor town in the south of Ireland, Kealan Patrick Burke knew from a very early age that he was going to be a horror writer.”
Hey DFW fans…
“Cicero’s poems show nature as violent and unforgiving.”
He will be missed. RIP
“Being a guest on Get Lit with Leza is like being at a great party and in therapy at the same time.”
TRAGEDY QUEENS: STORIES INSPIRED BY LANA DEL REY & SYLVIA PLATH WILL BE AVAILABLE MARCH 13TH, 2018
“Leza and I took a strange and wonderful journey together.”
Editor and author Christoph Paul explains how writing notes (and being brutally honest) about a finished draft will make you a better writer, give you better standards, and help you write books you will feel proud of.
“A friend of mine was arrested for swimming naked in the reservoir where this water comes from.”
“We talked about writing and faith, and I even got to show off my Lego art and played the guitar!”
“So this summer I was helping out on this farm with all these anarchist witches & stuff.”
“I thought a blog would give me direction but it kinda didn’t do that at all. It kinda made me more aimless.”
“FLO IS SWEET, but she’s a hard bitch.”
“One woman even has a demon dog named Cerberus come out of her backside chomping away at her opponents. Hip Whip Girl forever!”
Ghosts trying to get laid, an “erotic” burning bush, forbidden love between sea monsters and more fill this collection of Torah-influenced bizarro, horror, and pulp fiction. You gotta dig any book that has a recipe for a skinhead-killing Golem.”
“These are stories for when you cry looking at a mirror and ask harsh questions about who the fuck is staring back at you.”
“When I was your age, mija, I had my heart broken by a beautiful man.”
“I think I’ve organically drifted from horror to crime/noir to dark/literary.”
“This was not an interview, it was a conversation.”
“I said dance, pendejo!”
“Like Art School Confidential as directed by Lloyd Kauffman and Quentin Tarantino.”
“After bathing in the blood of several children.”
“Why the fuck did they make another movie about evil children.”
“Your eyes bleed, your soul cries, but you can’t fucking stop.”
Brian Keene has single-handedly rewritten the zombie genre with THE RISING and its sequel, CITY OF THE DEAD.
This is when frogs come hopping. He is unsettled by their black, staring eyes.
Her smile was sharp and immediate; her eyes were twin voids.
How did my pain get so big?
I enjoyed rambling through a wide range of topics.
LET’S GET WITCHY!
“Humans are addicted to anxiety.”
“Shared weirdness in a damp Necon hotel room.”
“TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”
“Easily the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever been a part of.”
“Aliens don’t give a fuck about you.”
“If you watch this and don’t get turned on you are officially a corpse.”
“You don’t wanna miss this!”
“To fight, we need to believe in ourselves first.”
“I never thought a book would make me look at shadows with suspicion. Brian Allen Carr is a bad man. Dude is the Aaron Rodgers of indie writers.”
“If a great relationship with a sharp, amazing press that loves your work and hustles for you is great, then two is better, and three must be amazing.”
“More people need to wear a panda head when they do interviews.”
“Marisol is a bruja who must grapple with sexual abuse.”
“It was a radtacular time.”
Can musicians who are really into math rock still get laid?
“I think I was smoking a cigar.”
“You have been very critical of anthologies paying in signed photographs. Why do you hate photography, Max?”
“The panels ooze with demented sexuality, brutality and, uh, eyeball licking.”
“I think of the times I’ve cragged my legless body across razorwire, skin sloughing off as the napalm digs into me.”
“Your father has a devil inside him.”
“How cool would it be if you actually got Cher to do a poetry zine for one of the Ladybox releases?”
“Cary Fukunaga’s stylistic approach mixed with, arguably, Stephen King’s best or most beloved novel would seem like a match made in heaven… right?”
“If you think every other author out there is your enemy, you can go fuck yourself.”
“Come to Vegas and we can go to karaoke.”
“10/10 would chat again”
“A man lives with a parasite in him.”
“My friends were all hood rats.”
“Dreams are often a strange equalizer.”
Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT
“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”
When horror authors get big press distribution, it always exciting news. Two books are out today and both of them look awesome.
“I was a religious little boy and thought Guns N’ Roses were nothing but sinners and going to hell.”
“I can’t untangle my queerness from my politics or my magickal practice.”
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
“I want to make shit happen.”
“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”
“I’m still the heathen it represents, but now I’m a sober, happy heathen.”
“Saw Nunslaughter cut open a dead deer, dump buckets of blood, and throw a pig’s head off the stage for the audience to kick around in the mosh pit.”
“I have a firm belief that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.”
“Every human being gets addicted to something.’
“Kathleen Hanna never stops. She can’t be kept down.”
Enter the Goodreads Giveaway and get the e-book for 99 cents.
“BRUJA is a fluid, non-linear, and organic experience.”
“My heart is a dumpster fire.”
“You can probably read the book faster than an acid trip lasts .”
“Spring Breakers and Gummo specifically pop to mind.”
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
“Basically, Elizabeth Ellen should win the Pulitzer Prize and then immediately be beaten to death with it because she’s so good, so human, so completely fucked.”
“My personal favorite character is a talking bathroom that literally fucks Kyle.”
“Bizarro is the Chaos Magick of literature.”
“I dreamt about Lola at night.”
“You made all of this happen with your book,” one Twitter user scolded me.”
“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”
“I can already see the glazed over eyes of anyone who dares read this shit.”
“Titles such as Wall of Kiss, Mother Puncher, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife grab your attention and make you wonder what kind of madness unfolds within those pages.”
“If you enjoy surrealistic Bizarro fiction with a heart too big to contain within its pages, then this is the collection for you.”
“Old gods lurk behind the stars, old loves linger on from Earth, and Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.”
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
“Godzilla helped give me my moral compass.”
Danger Slater is a Bizarro writer who uses surrealism, dark humor, and a healthy dose of existential angst to create his stories.
“All of my tattoos are reflections, more or less, of visions.”
“I do not control people’s boner.”
CLASH Media catches up with Constance Ann Fitzgerald and talks about her new book, Glue.
“Here are the writers that brought the mother fucking ruckus…”
And then she dies.
End of story.
Well, not really.
“The beauty of this anthology is how varied the voices are.”
“To support his claims to well endowed-ness, Donald J Trump attempted to have a bigger dick, tattooed on his dick.”
“I try to meditate on talking bats and planets made of chocolate as much as possible, so that my ratio of bizarre to boring will tip further into the strange.”
“Here’s what needs to be on your radar.”
“Oblivion is only a lap dance away, and even when you leave, you’re never really gone. We take a piece of you, as payment, an offering to our humble little establishment.”
“That’s not your face.”
“I’ve experienced a lot of diverse literary events but Brooklyn Book Festival has always been one of my favorites.”
“CLASH wants your creepy stories!”
“Every night he asks me the same question. “Will you sleep with me?”
“Screams filled the kitchen of the frat house.”
“I know what you’re thinking: why Kid Rock? Why not Limp Bizkit or Uncle Kracker or some other horrible nü-metal band scraped out of the armpit of the late 90s?”
“I didn’t know who the hell this Brian guy was, but I did want to fuck her.”
Let’s just say right off the bat that we are deeply disappointed! Yes, us! And yes, “deeply” is the right word—it works to show exactly how disappointed we are.
“TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”
“She rides that mushroom pole and flips upside down, with her legs spread high above her head. Her big blue eyes and red lips are innocence and corruption made flesh.”
“The cameraman wore a black suit with white gloves and a shiny red shirt. A large, handheld video camera obscured his face. The lens pointed right at me.”
“The Con Season is a very fun and fucked up book that horror fans will love.”
“Mandy De Sandra exposes the truth behind Brexit.”
“Brian Keene’s Pressure and Paul Tremblay’s The Disappearance at Devil’s Rock are both released today.”
“Owning a laptop… Going to a coffee shop… Having a cat…”
“I decided to take a look back at the key moments in my life that happened at that exact minute through the years.”
“Read a book, help Squishy.”
“Dan Falatko, the author of Condominium, and I met through our publisher, Chicago Center of Literature and Photography. We became fast friends and shared a book-signing table at AWP this year in Los Angeles.”
“Danger Slater is the stand up comic of the Bizarro Fiction scene. He has googly eyes, a big heart, and a mind that is teeming with dark and forbidden secrets.”
“CLASH is excited to present our fourth book and sequel to Bizarro/Political Satire Great White House, Great White House 2: Billary Bites Back by Christoph Paul & Arthur Graham.”
“We want 2,000 to 3,000 word stories dealing with anything Wu-Tang Clan related. That could be Gravediggaz themes of horror, cool ass ninja shit, grimy Shaolin monks, slick futuristic science fiction a la Bobby Digital, gritty, or off-the wall crime fiction.”
“Below is a leaked transcript from the New Jersey 3rd Circuit Court. It is a conversation of a 3 man chat room group: New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes. This conversation contains very offensive material and Clash Media does not support these sentiments or the Juggalos.”
“My laptop was positioned perfectly on my bed. I was looking at Tubegalore.com but I was not sure what topic to pick when I heard a ghostly voice echo in my studio apartment, “Chrisssstoppph, Chrissstoph, do not jerk off. For I am the ghost of jerk off past.”