Advertisements

Author Archive

Memoirs of a Professional Weirdo: Yellow Army Woman

by

“You can just imagine all those Chinese like a little army of yellow ants crawling over it, can’t you?”

Advertisements

The Last Time I Saw My Sister’s Children: A Tragic Christmas Tale

by

“Myself and my two older sisters were never exactly Little Women but we did our best not to hate each other.”

Ask Maddie: Bizarro Advice Column

by

“I was trying to invoke Satan and accidentally invoked the ghost of Margaret Thatcher instead. Now she’s bugging me, telling me about how privatizations can help my country. How do I get rid of her?”

Ask Maddie: An Advice Column From Author Madeleine Swann

by

“If you stick a hotdog into a donut and 9 months later a Twinkie knocks on your door asking for it’s Dad… like is that cheating?”

ASK MADDIE: AN ADVICE COLUMN FROM AUTHOR MADELEINE SWANN

by

“Dear Maddie, the fabric of my car’s interior takes me to the brink and back every time I drive. Can you offer any advice?”

Ask Maddie: An Advice Column From Author Madeleine Swann

by

“Dear Maddie, I’m not very good with words. How do I tell the woman in my basement she can never leave without upsetting her?”

ASK MADDIE: AN ADVICE COLUMN FROM AUTHOR MADELEINE SWANN

by

“Dear Maddie, I am attracted to mannequins. Can you help me?”

ASK MADDIE: AN ADVICE COLUMN FROM AUTHOR MADELEINE SWANN

by

“Dear Maddie,

How do I avoid seven years of bad luck when all I want to do is break a bunch of mirrors?”

ASK MADDIE: AN ADVICE COLUMN FROM AUTHOR MADELEINE SWANN

by

“Dear Maddie, I’m a happily married woman but I sometimes feel bored, like I’m missing out on life.”

Ask Maddie: An Advice Column from Author Madeleine Swann

by

“Dear Maddie, I think my boyfriend may be cheating on me. What should I do…?”