Memoirs of a Professional Weirdo: Yellow Army Woman

“You can just imagine all those Chinese like a little army of yellow ants crawling over it, can’t you?”


Ask Maddie: Bizarro Advice Column

“I was trying to invoke Satan and accidentally invoked the ghost of Margaret Thatcher instead. Now she’s bugging me, telling me about how privatizations can help my country. How do I get rid of her?”