Author Archive

The Bruja Visions of Wendy C. Ortiz

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“Dreams are often a strange equalizer.”

The Death Metal Lit of Dean Swinford

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Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT

Why I Can’t Wait for GLOW

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GLOW had me hooked immediately and Nash and Maron are just supporting characters.

Quit Making the Talentless Rich With Your Terrible Taste and B. Diehl

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“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”

Anxiety and Ativan: The Homesick Minivan by Justin Grimbol

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“I felt okay about being charmless. I was going to eat ice-cream.”

New Horror Releases!

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When horror authors get big press distribution, it always exciting news. Two books are out today and both of them look awesome. 

YOU CAN CATCH SADNESS AND DEATH LIKE A FEVER: An Interview with Scott McClanahan

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“I was a religious little boy and thought Guns N’ Roses were nothing but sinners and going to hell.”

Writers Remember Denis Johnson

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“Genre or Literary Fiction, NYC or MFA, Indie or Mainstream, Denis Johnson was beloved. “

ALL HAIL TRANS WITCHES: AN INTERVIEW WITH LIVING SEA-WITCH, MOSS ANGEL: BY LARISSA GLASSER

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“I can’t untangle my queerness from my politics or my magickal practice.”

YOU AND I WILL ONE DAY FEEL THE JOY OF DESTROYING AN ENTIRE BATHROOM WITH OUR BARE HANDS: An Interview with Benjamin DeVos

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“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”

Anxiety, Meditation & Reading Bukowski: Justin Grimbol

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“I picture myself as Lena Dunham with a beard.”

This Super Cool Thing Where Everything Gives Me Anxiety: Constance Ann Fitzgerald

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“When I finally decided to quit drinking I had anxiety about being alone.”

Christine Stoddard Makes Shit Happen

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“I want to make shit happen.”

IT’S MY STORY AND I WILL WRITE IT SENSATIONAL IF I WANT TO: MONIQUE QUINTANA

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“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”

DEATH METAL EPIC: GOAT SONG SACRIFICE BY DEAN SWINFORD

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“Saw Nunslaughter cut open a dead deer, dump buckets of blood, and throw a pig’s head off the stage for the audience to kick around in the mosh pit.”

Melania Trump’s New Portrait Actually Headshot for New Law and Order: SVU Role

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“I am honored to play the role of Lieutenant Olivia Benson on SVU”

MONSTER IN A DRESS SHOP: A FEMINIST PHOTO PROJECT BY CHRISTINE STODDARD

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“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”

Jeff Burk Goes to the ‘Free Speech Rally’ & May Day Protest

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“The anti-Trump juggler was the best.”

Dude, You Can Summon Ancient Spirits Anywhere: An Interview with Elle Nash

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MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY DAY

Alexander Boldizar, Chaos, Harvard, and The Ugly

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“I have a firm belief that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.”

The Void: A Horror Fan’s Wet Dream

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“You’ll be grateful for the nightmares.”

Lovecraftian Grunge: Kurthulhu

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Come As You Are to Kurthulhu

David W. Barbee: Bacon Fried Bastard

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“Every human being gets addicted to something.’

The Love Witch: An Unconventional Review by Autumn Christian

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“If you expend so much effort into being what other people desire it’ll leave you feeling empty.”

The Homesick Minivan With Justin Grimbol: Dog Story

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“Once he jumped on me while I was humping my pillow.”

Wu-Tang Tribute Anthology is for 99 Cents and Having a Goodreads Giveaway

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Enter the Goodreads Giveaway and get the e-book for 99 cents.

The Syria Ultra Mega Special

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“In this episode the boys cover everything Syria — the missile strike on their airbase, the refugees, and everything in between. Predictably, the conversation results in a debate. How exciting!”

Comedian Don Rickles Passes Away at 90

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“You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. It’s a personality. My humor is an attitude.”

Adventures in Wendyland: Bruja, by Wendy C. Ortiz

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“BRUJA is a fluid, non-linear, and organic experience.”

The Homesick Minivan With Justin Grimbol: Angry Old Men

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“I visit old people in their homes and help them with daily tasks, like cooking and cleaning and bathing.”

Tragedy Queens: Stories Inspired by Lana Del Rey and Sylvia Plath TOC

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“Tragedy Queens is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”

Unicorns are Evil and Brian Alan Ellis: Get Lit With Leza Podcast

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“My heart is a dumpster fire.”

Assault with a Deadly GIF & Debating Planned Parenthood | John Podesta’s Pizza Party

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“Guests Garrett Schuelke and Zach Elmblad join the roster and catch up on current events in this two part episode.”

Starr Creek by Nathan Carson is a Literary Acid Trip

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“You can probably read the book faster than an acid trip lasts .”

Like Lovecraft In Brooklyn: Battering the Stem by Bob Freville

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“Spring Breakers and Gummo specifically pop to mind.”

Mother’s Day (1980) Philip LoPresti WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOLIERS

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“I first saw Mother’s Day when I was thirteen.”

Monsters, Myths, and Madmen, with Jerry Drake at AWP

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“I am compelled to tell stories.”

IF I WAS SMART I WOULD EITHER KILL MYSELF OR IMMEDIATELY BECOME A RECLUSE: An Interview with Elizabeth Ellen

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“Basically, Elizabeth Ellen should win the Pulitzer Prize and then immediately be beaten to death with it because she’s so good, so human, so completely fucked.”

Hate From The Sky By Sean M. Thompson

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“My personal favorite character is a talking bathroom that literally fucks Kyle.”

John Edward Lawson Talks Books at AWP

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“Bizarro is the Chaos Magick of literature.”

Discussing The Dark Net, The Trans Debate, And More

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“THE DARK NET!!! It’s spooky, scary, and contains plenty of things that are quite illegal.”

Spooks and Books with Cathy T. Colborn

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“I dreamt about Lola at night.”

The Return of The Passion of the Christoph Podcast

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After a year hiatus from The Passion of the Christoph Podcast, Christoph returns for a solo show

That Scrap Book

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“If you ever bring a black man home, I’m throwing you through that window.”

TRANS RIGHTS FIGHT!! | John Podesta’s Pizza Party

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“Lots of arguing and political talk. I’m sure you aren’t very used to that…”

THE HOMESICK MINIVAN

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“We loved Kerouac’s Mexico City Blues and Enzo wanted to read the whole book out loud. It took a long time because we got very drunk.”

It Was Supposed To Be A Satire. It Turned Out To Be A Prophecy

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“You made all of this happen with your book,” one Twitter user scolded me.”

Angel Meat With Laura Lee Bar

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“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”

Michael Kindt (1968-2017)

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“We’re saddened to announce that we lost a member of the CLASH family this week. Author and CLASH journalist Michael Kindt (April 14th, 1968 – February 21st, 2017) passed away unexpectedly at the age of 48.”

The End of Milo Yiannopoulos

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“Pure filthy chatter and politics.”

A SHADOW MAP: AN ANTHOLOGY BY SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

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“What does it mean to survive?”

Embry: Hard-Boiled—A Weird Little Egg Cooked Just Right

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“Imagine if Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett wrote about talking chickens and anthropomorphic eggs in muumuus.”

MY BLOOD IS BASICALLY MOLDY COFFEE AND DOG PISS: An Interview with Artist/Writer Michael Seymour Blake

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“I can already see the glazed over eyes of anyone who dares read this shit.”

CLASH Gets Spooky With Gina Ranalli

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“Titles such as Wall of Kiss, Mother Puncher, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife grab your attention and make you wonder what kind of madness unfolds within those pages.”

Beyond the Great, Bloody, Bruised, and Silent Veil of This World

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“Old gods lurk behind the stars, old loves linger on from Earth, and Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.”

CLASH Podcast Does AWP With Justin Grimbol

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“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”

A Horror Fan’s Guide to Love and Sex by Brendan Vidito

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“We live in a time that fetishizes 80s popular culture, so wouldn’t it be rad if you developed a vaginal opening on your stomach that supports Betamax tapes?”

Have A Seat Over There… CHRIS HANSEN Talks to JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY

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“The latest episode of the CLASH Media original podcast…”

Will THE ROCK Run For Office? | Jeff Burk on JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY

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“Here we go, another round of the Pizza Party…”

Godzilla, Golden Showers, Voodoo and Writing Rituals, and Why Portland, Oregon is Doggie Heaven: CLASH Catches Up With Bizarro Author Garrett Cook

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“Godzilla helped give me my moral compass.”

I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER: HERE IS WHAT MY WOMEN’S MARCH EXPERIENCE WAS LIKE

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“Somewhere in between Donald Trump’s attacks on immigrants and his comments about pussy-grabbing, it became clear that public demonstrations and marches were going to become a regular part of my life.”

THE TRANSGRESSIVE ANTI-TRUMP BIZARRO ART OF JIM AGPALZA

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“I just chose the gutter to dwell in, and with what the world seems to be moving into, I think it’s a perfect place to assess and judge it.”

Jeff Burk Discusses #PizzaGate, Protests, & More on Two Part JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY

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“A brand new episode of the CLASH exclusive podcast this week features a notable bizarro author…”

Meryl Streep, #PissGate, & Bryan Singer’s Pedophilic Sex Parties | JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY

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“This week the boys are talking to filmmaker Jacob A. Miller about Hollywood liberalism, Meryl Streep’s Golden Globe speech, Donald Trump’s potential pee fetish, Bryan Singer’s alleged pedophilic sex parties, and then they debate the best performances of actors playing mentally challenged characters.”

Fungasm Author Danger Slater Interview

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Danger Slater is a Bizarro writer who uses surrealism, dark humor, and a healthy dose of existential angst to create his stories.

Inside a God of Haunted Walls: An Unconventional Interview with Garrett Cook

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“I do not control people’s boner.”

John Podesta’s Pizza Party – Episode 3: “The Franklin Cover-Up”

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“Social justice, alt-right, and conspiracy theories… what more could you ask for out of a political podcast?”

CLASH Podcast Interview With Constance Ann Fitzgerald

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CLASH Media catches up with Constance Ann Fitzgerald and talks about her new book, Glue.

Watch the New Trailer for the Vaporwave Horror Series ROTTEN

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“Violence, vendettas, and vaporware. These are the hallmarks of the revenge thriller known as ROTTEN.”

Leza Cantoral Interviewed by Christoph Paul on Clash Media Podcast

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“I kinda wanna feel like I am being possessed by the ghost of Jackie O. I wanna feel like she’s talking to me and I wanna get kinda creeped out and tripped out about that.”

SEASONS BEATINGS: A BIZARRO HOLIDAY COMIC

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““Platform Edge” is an urban-surreal nightmare comedy centering around
the deranged, demented and disastrous lives of two wayward housemates.”

MY MOTHER’S CIRCUS/HAND-SEWN CARNIVAL

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“My grandmother made Christmas ornaments from dried apricots and sugar cookies that she baked with her own hands, a creation upon a creation. They were all tiny women, and she gave them dark hair like us, which felt like a gift to me.”

TOP FIVE WEIRD XMAS MOVIES

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“Here are five cult Christmas films sure to bring something akin to holiday cheer to the perverts and creeps among us.”

The Christmas Poop of Catalan

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“Whether you think Christmas is shit or Christmas is the shit, when you are Catalan, your Christmas is going to be full of shit. And I mean literally. And no, it doesn’t get that dirty (usually).”

Wu-Tang Tribute Anthology Table of Contents and Release Date

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“Here are the writers that brought the mother fucking ruckus…”

Comedy/Politics Show Premieres – JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY

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“John Podesta’s Pizza Party is a comedic culture and politics podcast covering current events in life, the media, and government.”

#the Tao of Murray

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“Amongst his many deific duties, Murray plays poet and maharishi to the various extraterrestrial corporate entities that run our universe. He keeps them merciful.”

CLASH XMAS SUBMISSIONS CALL

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“Entertain us with your Christmas traditions and recollections.”

Bizarro Monday

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Over 200 Bizarro Fiction ebooks for 99 cents.

Review of Shit Luck

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And then she dies.
End of story.
Well, not really.

CLASH Now Has A Podcast

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For the first CLASH Media Podcast, author/editor Christoph Paul talks politics and Social Media with CLASH Media Founder Jayme Karales. They voted for different candidates…

AN AMERICAN SOAP OPERA IN FOUR PARTS, AS SEEN FROM “THE PORTLAND BUBBLE”

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“Our nation is a cracked mirror. You stare into the glass, hoping to find solace, but you are delivered more cracks.”

A Transgender Woman’s Letter For The American Public

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“What a surreal time to be alive in all the history of the world and be who I am.”

THE BONE YARD- CASE #1

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“I still have the yellowed newspaper clipping, the piece of evidence, and the skull wrapped up in an old box in the back of my personal files.”

BIZARRO COMICS: THAT’S A-VORE

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“Platform Edge” is an urban-surreal nightmare comedy centering around the deranged, demented and disastrous lives of two wayward housemates.”

WATCH ME TWEET ABOUT BEING HUMAN GARBAGE AND CHILL?

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“How can Facebook expect me to share my Facebook memories when I can’t even handle my Facebook realities?”

‘ROTTEN: Chapter One’ Now Online

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“The first entry in the throwback mystery saga, starring Thomas Speed, Ivana Bellorado, and Mike Mike, written by Joel Amat Güell and Jayme Karales, and directed by Jayme Karales, is now online.”

First Chapter in Vintage Horror-Mystery Series ‘ROTTEN’ Now Online

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“The first entry in the crime trinity, starring Thomas Speed, Ivana Bellorado, and Mike Mike, written by Joel Amat Güell and Jayme Karales, and directed by Jayme Karales, is now online. “

TOP 5 Takashi Miike Movies

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“I just hope you like the color red.”

The Implosion of Trump and the Cannibalization of Pence

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“To support his claims to well endowed-ness, Donald J Trump attempted to have a bigger dick, tattooed on his dick.”

HORROR FILM POEMS OUT NOW FROM CLASH BOOKS

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“HORROR FILM POEMS is a love letter to horror films where poems are the paragraphs.”

TOP TEN SCI-FI HORROR MOVIES

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“Not recommended for: novice trippers, Reagan Republicrats, copywriters with ideals intact (both of you), nor especially RayBan-wearing dictators.”

THE SPOOKY WORLD OF ANDREW GOLDFARB

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“I try to meditate on talking bats and planets made of chocolate as much as possible, so that my ratio of bizarre to boring will tip further into the strange.”

TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES GUARANTEED TO GIVE YOU A WEIRD BONER

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“Guaranteed to give you and your potential lay the weirdest boners imaginable, lady or otherwise.”

Review of The Greasy Strangler

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“This movie is like CALVAIRE, but funnier. It’s completely absurd and surreal.”

CHILDREN IN A DEAD MUSEUM

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“I remember being so happy then—a creature that stayed out too late one Halloween night and got lost in the morning light.”

TOP TEN UNDERRATED SLASHER FILMS

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“Escaped psychopaths? Check. Teenaged babysitters? Check. Buckets of blood? Check. Yet some of the films on the following list also offer plots that at least try to bring something different to the table.”

LONELINESS, SORROW, AND SPIRITS IN NEW ORLEANS

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“Maybe New Orleans is like a drug, an opium-induced dreamspace.”

Korn’s Jonathan Davis is a Front Runner for 2017 Nobel Literature Prize

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“you not rrrh rot
dot n dot n dot per rot
dot n not n dot per
n dot chi cot n dot rrr ah
dot dot ki o ma gri a dot
dot ers a pa ta ko”

TOP TEN BIZARRO HORROR MOVIES

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“Sometimes the strange, the ugly, the grotesque and the frightful come together and form something truly amazing.”

THE ANGEL OF 42nd STREET

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“I’ll never forget our one and only encounter with the real life Dolemite.”

PLEASE FILE UNDER ADULT CONTEMPORARY

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“In the mid 1970s, record stores and radio stations around the country started receiving copies of a 12-inch single.”

TOP TEN OCCULT HORROR FILMS FROM THE 70’s

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“Occult horror blends with giallo-type murders into an unforgettable artistic nightmare.”

ARE YOU DRINKING DEATH SODA?

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“The first reported incident of death caused by the soda was in January of 2011.”

The Smilers: A Horror Story About Happy People By Drew Chial

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“That’s not your face.”

Christian Slater and James Franco Play Gay Porn Moguls in King Cobra

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“NO LITTLE BITCHES!”

The Final Flight of Cher by Mame Bougouma Diene

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“Cher glides with the grace of an ovulating swan and the purity of the Virgin Mary!”

HALLOWEEN SUBMISSIONS CALL

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“CLASH wants your creepy stories!”

Huldufólk: Hunting for the Fey in Iceland by J.C. Drake

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“So. I’ll just say it. Elves. Is it true that you all really believe in them?”

SOMEONE ELSE’S BIG BREAK: AN ESSAY BY DANGER SLATER

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“Hey, so I was wonderin’, do you think I can maybe get backstage?”

The Top Five Books That Are Better Than Anything You Could Ever Write, You Piece of Shit Wannabe Writer

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“There will always be people better than you. Some of them will always be better than you. Some are so far ahead that you can’t possibly hold a candle to them.”

To be Young, Gifted, Black, and Broke in ‘Atlanta’

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Atlanta is for us.

It shows what it is to be young, gifted, broke, and most importantly, Black.

I Am Jack’s Unsung Heroine

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“Fight Club is a story of a man’s journey to finally being able to commit to a woman”

WHY I DECIDED TO QUIT WRITING AND BECOME A KID ROCK FAN INSTEAD

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“I know what you’re thinking: why Kid Rock? Why not Limp Bizkit or Uncle Kracker or some other horrible nü-metal band scraped out of the armpit of the late 90s?”

Brian’s Girl

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“I didn’t know who the hell this Brian guy was, but I did want to fuck her.”

Sam Bradford is Excited to Help The Vikings Go 8-8

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“You ever watch them teen movies where the girl with glasses that acts like nerd becomes hot. I’m like the nerd girl of quarterbacks, but I ain’t ever going to get hot.”

TRAGEDY QUEENS: STORIES INSPIRED BY LANA DEL REY AND SYLVIA PLATH

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“TRAGEDY QUEENS is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”

The Con Season: A Novel of Survival Horror

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“The Con Season is a very fun and fucked up book that horror fans will love.”

The New Drew Magary Novel is Out

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“The Hike is now out from Viking Press.”

‘I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday’ Trailer Lands Online

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“This film looks dark and damn good.”

First 7 Minutes of ‘Wizard’ Released Online

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“The first 7 minutes of the upcoming UnHollywood Films/CLASH Media Production WIZARD (2017, directed by Jayme Karales) has been released online through the UnHollywood Films Vimeo channel.”

Copywriting Service: Bullshit on the Spot

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“Our ghost-writing services have also been used for top-notch public figures: Justin Bieber, Paula Deen, Jared Kushner, Johnny Manziel, Paul Ryan, Anthony Weiner, and many more!”

Kevin Durant Announces He Will Only Play NBA 2K17 With Cheat Codes

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“Durant declined to comment on why he chose cheat codes. Speculation says he could feel his fingers were not as flexible as they once were and the cheat codes could give him more time to focus on defense and passing.”

Happy Birthday Carlton Mellick |||!

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“Happy birthday to the OG of Bizarro Fiction.”

Have a Short Film or Web Series?

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“We are currently accepting pitches and samples of scripted, self-produced short films and both scripted and unscripted web-series (currently airing or not) for online distribution.”

Mega Huge Bizarro Fiction Reading at Sommerville Theater

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“It is time to get weird New England.”

New Brian Keene and Paul Tremblay Novels

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“Brian Keene’s Pressure and Paul Tremblay’s The Disappearance at Devil’s Rock are both released today.”

Anton Yelchin Dead at Age 27

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“Star Trek and Green Room actor Anton Yelchin was found dead earlier this morning in an unusual car accident.”

A Robot Writes The Room 2 in Space

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Did a robot just write a spiritual sequel to The Room in space?

The Squishy Stories Vol. 2 Out Now

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“Read a book, help Squishy.”

Help Mandy De Sandra Become A Singularity Sexbot

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“izarro Erotica author and self-proclaimed Gnostic Prophet Mandy De Sandra has set up a Craigslist ad. She asks to have her conscious self taken out of her human host; YA and Bizarro Fiction author, Christoph Paul, and placed into a sex-bot machine.”

Pop Icon Prince Found Dead At Age 57

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“Recent reports are stating that legendary musician Prince has been found dead this morning.”

My Friend John (2016) – A CLASH Digital Exclusive

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“CLASH Digital Exclusives are a line of daring, contemporary short films directed by notable up and coming filmmakers.”

‘Great White House 2: Billary Bites Back’ is Now Available from CLASH Books

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“CLASH is excited to present our fourth book and sequel to Bizarro/Political Satire Great White House, Great White House 2: Billary Bites Back by Christoph Paul & Arthur Graham.”

Dark Indie Comedy ‘Consumer Beware’ Trailer Premieres Online

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“Janitor and aspiring writer Lincoln (Anthony Martel) tries to find some excitement in his life by joining his friend Rudy (John McNeil) in finding a VCR full of cocaine they lost after Rudy steals it from a drug dealer, thinking VCRs will make a comeback.”

‘Batman v. Superman’ May Be Loose Continuation of Burton’s Batman Films

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“Just in case you weren’t hyped before, or have been clamoring for some retro style comic book films, this odd tidbit from an early screener may fuel your interest in the upcoming Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. “

Bizarre Boston Crime Thriller ‘WIZARD’ Trailer Online

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“The official theatrical trailer for WIZARD, a comedy/thriller throwback to crime dramas of the 1980s.”

‘Justice League’ To Start Filming In April

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“Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice director Zack Snyder has announced today that filming of the Justice League will start on Monday April 11th.”

Live Fast, Die Young: Harper Lee Found Dead in NY Apartment of a Cocaine Overdose

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“An unnamed source reported Lee be acting reckless, stating she’d taken 13 shots of Jim Beam whiskey off of a pair of stripper’s titties. Lee was 89 years old.”

Jason Voorheesberg Reviews Horror Novel ‘Reincarnage’

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“We at CLASH are happy to welcome literature lover and serial killer Jason Voorheesberg.”

Ted Cruz Tributes ‘Office Space’

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“Though we still stand by our statement of Ted Cruz being a pedophile vampire, we applaud his campaign managers for giving some love to Office Space.”

Second Edition of ‘Great White House’ Arrives from CLASH Books

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“CLASH Books has a put on a revised second edition of Great White House. It coincides with the March 10 release of Great White House 2: Billary Bites Back. “

The ‘Great White House’ Series Joins CLASH Books

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“We are happy to share that CLASH Books is publishing the second edition of “Great White House” by Christoph Paul and Arthur Graham Feb. 12th.”

Small Press Names 10 Other Small Presses in Top 10 List of Nepotism & Dick Suckery

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“It’s almost as if the authors, publishing houses, and websites in this circle are eating the feces of their neighbors, digesting them, shitting them out, and feeding them to the next person like an oval human centipede.”

John Kasich to Reunite Pink Floyd If Elected President

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“In a recent video, presidential candidate and Ohio governor John Kasich has sworn to bring Pink Floyd back together if he is elected president. No, this isn’t satire.”

Iowa Republicans Nominate First Pedophile Vampire For President

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“Evangelicals decided that a Pedophile Vampire who was also a Christian best represented their values.”

Azealia Banks Comes Out as Trump Supporter on Day of the Iowa Caucus

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“Banks took to Twitter to say, “Ok so, I think I’m ready to admit that I’m going to vote for Donald Trump.”

Dumb & Dumber Recut as Oscar Bait Trailer

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“We came across a brilliantly crafted, recut trailer for The Farrelly Brothers’ 1994 classic Dumb & Dumber, starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.”

‘WIZARD’ Slated for Christmas 2016 Premiere

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“The Practice Makes Perfect (2016) spin-off is tentatively lined up for a winter release.”

‘True Detective’ Anthology Now On Sale From CLASH

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“CLASH Books is very proud to present this collection of powerful and evocative stories about the humanity and inhumanity of modern man in an ever-shifting moral and cosmic landscape.”