November 24, 2007
Today is the day for turkey. Although I have no family or Chief Wahoo Indian friends around, I still tried to celebrate Thanksgiving as normal families do. I cooked a turkey, made instant mashed potatoes, instant stuffing, instant gravy, instant cranberry sauce, and even topped it off with instant shouting matches over the TV to myself.
Watching a re-run episode of Home Improvement, I imagined my parents invited Jonathan Taylor Thomas to sit at the table with them instead of me. I yelled, “Fuck that kid!
Those are my muthafuckin’ turkey giblets for my muthafuckin’ mouth!!!
Not for some little midget dweeb with a huge head of hair!” and “Get away from my gravy, you little bitch.” Damn right I ain’t gonna let no JTT snatch up that gravy. That shit’s for my mouth! I’m a wild turkey when I’m hungry!
Christopher Lesko is a weirdo writer dude. Other creative outlets of his include photography, video production, graphic design, and abstract painting. He lives in Youngstown, Ohio.
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