This collection of tales from the mind that brought you Shatnerquake & Cripple Wolf is dark, weird, and yes, Bizarro af. It is composed of some previously published stories in addition to some brand new ones, including the titular story. This is a rare opportunity to see Jeff Burk’s range as a storyteller, beyond horror & absurdism. He shares the stories behind the stories, which are as entertaining as the stories themselves. We love this collection & we think you will too!
1. The Very Ineffective Haunted House
2. The Window Shouldn’t Be There
3. TEN SECRETS TO SURVIVAL CLICKERS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW – THEY REALLY HATE NUMBER SIX
4. How I Got a MY LITTLE PONY Tattoo
5. The GG Effect
6. The Dog Who Stared
7. The Most Accomplished Crackhead in the World
8. I’ve Seen Enough Hentai to Know Where this is Going
9. The Satanic Little Toaster
10. Hipster Hunter
11. Jinx Poem
12. MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS: AN ODE TO DINOSAURS ATTACK!
13. Stories Behind The Stories
The Very Ineffective Haunted House
There’s something about people who are failures but refuse to ever give up that I find charming. The idea of someone who is terrible at something but still keeps trying despite the fact that any rational person would have given up long ago is inspiring to me. I know a lot of artists and writers look positively upon their art but I never feel that way about my stories, I can only see their faults but other people seem to like them so I keep writing them. This is another one of those stupid stories and it’s about failure and just leaning into that failure.
But instead of it being about a writer who drinks too much and plays with cats all the time it’s about a haunted house who only wanted to be an artist.
PRAISE FOR JEFF BURK
“Reminiscent of a modern William Faulkner.”
-Lloyd Kaufman, President of Troma Entertainment and creator of The Toxic Avenger
“Jeff Burk watches too much TV.”
-Chester Knebel, head animator for SUPERJAIL Season 1
“Jeff Burk writes some awesome shit. Just read it.”
-Carlton Mellick III
“Like Lloyd Kaufman and Sam Raimi’s mutant offspring.”
“If Chuck Klosterman raised a child on Jack Kerouac, Star Trek and comic books, that kid would be Jeff Burk. Original stuff that is sure to turn heads for fans of any literary genres.”