Dr. B – why is there foam in my pee when I go pee? – J-Dogg in Ohio
J-Dogg, great question! Usually having bubbles, or foam present in your urine is a sign that you have eaten (accidentally of course!) a couple of foul spirits, or demonic creatures. Many times demons will possess a food item, a slice of old pizza, half a sandwich, a rotten piece of fruit or any sort of food left out uncovered for more that a few minutes. Since the demon, or demons, are invisible it is nearly impossible to detect them in your food. Having a priest perform an exorcism on all your old half eaten food is often not easily accomplished so the best thing to do is cover all your half eaten food items. Don’t leave that pizza box sitting on the coffee table overnight then slyly put it in the fridge when you wake up the next morning. Do wrap up the half of a sandwich you don’t finish eating and put it on the shelf in the fridge. If your fruit is rotten, don’t eat it, just throw it away!
If you already have eaten a food item you think may have been possessed, and you notice bubbles, or foam, in your urine it is an obvious sign of demonically possessed food ingestion. At this point the first suggested course of action is to get an exorcism performed on your stomach contents. Often times priests are too busy for this sort of exorcism, so a quick home remedy is to get some holy water, or make some yourself! Holy water is simply clean, purified water over which a prayer is said, so get your bottle of water, or get a glass of clean tap water, and say the following prayer:
“Oh hungry spirits of uncleanness, I cast you out into the sewers where you belong, with the power and faith, forever and ever back to the abyss in the name most holy, Hallelujah!”
Turn in a circle three times while crossing yourself then drink the holy water! If the problem persists it may require a visit to your local family doctor, as the problem may be physical rather than spiritual, in any case good health to you!
Dr. B – If u eat an artichoke heart do u get imbued w the spirit of the artichoke? – Leza on facebook
Leza, as you are very well aware, Project Artichoke was the precursor to MK Ultra, namely because the spirits of artichokes are incredibly strong and mind altering in the extreme. Eating an artichoke heart that has been freshly picked will indeed imbue you with the spirit of that artichoke and you will experience everything that artichoke had experienced before being eaten. Mostly this will involve a lot of sitting around on a stalk and turning into a bud and growing and being watered and then being picked and shipped to a grocery store. Though sometimes you might get a glimpse of folks who were fooling around in the artichoke patch or see a vision of a murder. People are in the habit of murdering each other in artichoke gardens as humans make good fertilizer for the plants, or so I am told.
Sometimes you will get a glimpse into the life of the whole plant the artichoke grew on and there’s a lot of staring at the sun and soaking up rain scenes that go on seemingly forever until you get picked. Canned artichokes have a chemical added that negates this entire effect. Either way it is obvious you are asking this question merely because of your own involvement with Project Artichoke and are trying to spread disinformation, well as a Doctor of Divinity I can quickly see through your efforts and encourage you to ask another question less filled with disinformation.
That’s all for now folks, please direct your questions to my twitter @myfakehead or leave a message on facebook in the links to this column, or email: DrBenjaminAnthony@gmail.com. See you next time and stay healthy!
Dr. Benjamin Anthony
Disclaimer: Ask Dr. B is a piece of satire and should not be used in cases of actual medical emergency or dismemberment. Ask your local family doctor if you have a real medical question, duh. Dr. Benjamin Anthony holds a Doctor of Divinity, and as such is more a doctor of the soul rather than a medical doctor. Okay? Chill with your FDA complaints Susan, I never told you that swallowing a cactus was a good idea, totally that was your own decision and I absolve myself from any responsibility forthwith, catch me in court beeyotch!