LaVar Ball Poem


By Christoph Paul

Big Baller Poetry books are coming soon!

I am going to write some haikus with my boogers
And it’s gonna be $399.95 a book.

Gonna collab with that Milk & Honey girl,
Get paid in champagne,
And drink Bloody Mary’s
Made out of David Stern’s blood.

My boys gonna rub
their sweaty balls
all over the page
until they’ve invented their own language.

Then we gonna sell this book to aliens
And they gonna pay us in spaceships—
I ain’t gonna let Trump ride with us.

Big Baller Spaceships was always the plan.
I’ve seen Space Jam, and the Ball Family
Is going to be the only Ballers on Mars.


From upcoming poetry collection from CLASH Books, SPORTSCENTER POEMS by Christoph Paul


About Christoph Paul

Nice Jewish boy who writes mean books. Publisher of New English Press. Rep'd by Veronika Boom and writes Bizarro Erotica as Mandy DeSandra.

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