Fucking Franco: A Francopera in Three Acts

In July of 2014 I wrote a poem about James Franco. Since then, I’ve been vocal about disliking him for a plethora of reasons. Now, five women have accused him of doing the kind of shit you could tell he did just by looking at his face. So, as a wonderful “I told you so,” here is that poem again.

Act I

With a belly

full of vodka

I try watching

a brainless movie

Jason Statham

kicking ass

as usual

and you’re there

with an awful accent

and I shake my head

think “Fucking Franco.”

 

Act II

I go online

to be words

to drink words

to read words

about a world

gone to shit

about love

and hate

and murder

and you’re there

always

this time

they’re publishing

a book of poems

POEMS!

by you

hahaha

My laughter

sounds

like Werner Herzog

crying

and I feel

like that time

I thought

my Amazon ranking

depressed me

and then

I saw yours

And I look at my shelves

full of poets

good ones

and I shake my head

think “Fucking Franco.”

 

Act III

I meet a girl

she looks broken

mean

sour

perfect

we talk

I say books

name authors

geek out

she says

my MFA this

my MFA that

my professor knows

things

many things

I love James Franco

I think

That pervy douche?

Why?

 

I say bye

 

and I get mad

hate you a little

dislike you a lot

without any excuse to do so

(except the ones I know are true)

only because

you are movies

you are bad directing

you are selfies

you are books that shouldn’t be

you are news

you are alt lit

you are all lit

you are ego

you (think you) are a god

you are PhD

you are theater

you are everywhere

you are shirtless

you are meta

you are fucking

James Franco

and we all live in your world

 

Wait

except some of us

Actually

Fuck you, James Franco. Fuck you.

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About Gabino Iglesias

Gabino Iglesias is a writer, journalist, and book reviewer living in Austin, TX. He’s the author of Zero Saints and a few other things no one will ever read. You can find him on Twitter at @Gabino_Iglesias

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