DeVry University Offering MFA in Marketable Mediocre Poetry

To celebrate National Poetry Day, DeVry University is launching its MFA in Mediocre Marketable Poetry. Headed by Rupi Kaur and infamous Instagram Bro Poet Collin Yost, DeVry’s mission is to help inspiring Instagram poets turn their bad poetry into accessible mediocre poetry that pairs well with drawings that readers sort of enjoy reading.

 

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MFA co-director Kaur shared her hopes and reasons for the program in a recent interview, “No one reads great poetry except for other poets, but the marketplace has shown that aphorisms that looks like poetry with 5th grade level drawings sell! I’ve met so many Instagram poets who want to write a bestseller and teach. They try to get into to MFA programs and but get told that what they write isn’t even poetry. No more, at my program at DeVry University, everyone is a good poet and I will mentor them along with Collin.”

 

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Co-chairman Collin was also excited. “Yo, I get mad Instagram likes, but they don’t pay. So I figured why not do what legit poets do and make money by teaching poetry, so I reached out to homegirl Rupi and the good people over at DeVry, and now I am teaching poetry dogg! Life is dope. Word. I have smoked so many menthols to celebrate this opportunity.”

Both Kaur and Yost have come up with classes they feel will be helpful and enjoyable for MFA Marketable Mediocre Poetry students. The classes they have designed are almost all filled up including: Rhythm and Line Breaks are for Cucks, How To Make Aphorisms to Look Like Poetry, Imagery Smigery: Find the Right Drawing for Your Poem, and Turn Instagram Likes Into Poetry Book Sales.

While DeVry is excited to explore this new market, established poets have said this program is a mockery of poetry and the school is playing to the lowest common denominator, but program director Kaur, said, “I Bookscanned my detractors and their books combined weren’t even 1/50th of my sales, and their Instagram following is even more pathetic. They are just jealous and wish they could teach for a national university like DeVry.”

Despite the the criticism of their poetry peers, struggling writers and other mediocre poets* are taking offers to adjunct in these new classes, for more money than they could get from copyediting. DeVry has done a marketing campaign on Instagram, using the hashtags #PoetryCommunity #EmoPoets #InstagramPoets #IHatePoetry. They are working with student loan programs that students believe they can easily pay off by writing the next Milk and Honey.

To the haters, Kaur has this to say:

“Art is not about elitism. Art is about telling your truth. Style can be taught. If you have a heart you can write poetry. The poetry elite is just scared of being dethroned and I say “Vive la Revolucion!” Down with the tyranny of proper punctuation. No one is eating cake on my watch. They can take their elitism and shove it.”

 

 

* Christoph Paul is a mediocre poet of the collection Horror Film Poems and will be adjunct this year for DeVry University.

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About Christoph Paul

Nice Jewish boy who writes mean books. Publisher of New English Press. Rep’d by Veronika Boom and writes Bizarro Erotica as Mandy DeSandra.

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