Serious Internet Interview with Author/Drummer Nathan Carson

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Christoph Paul: How much will you sell the rights to Starr Creek to Mandy De Sandra so she can write Starr Skeet Skeet Skeet Creek? Also what are your thoughts on the hip hop producer Lil’ Jon?

Nathan Carson: Skeet? Shoot. I mean, come on. So like, what comes after $19? Is this Lil’ Jon?

CP: In my detailed research about your musical career, I learned you are doing a solo nu-metal album titled: Nathan Karson. Why are you such a big fan of nu-metal? Also what is your favorite Korn album?

NC: I really don’t consider my solo jamz nu-metal. Ninjas like you should know I’m all about family, so my tunes is based on love and banging gongs with the occasional turkey drumstick. True story, though: I saw Korn open for Ozzy in ’95 and the minute that guy sang “Knick-knack paddy-whack give-a-dog-a-bone,” I knew I would never listen to another note of their music, ever.

One day you will experience the brilliance and genius of Korn It will happen. You did an interview with D-List slasher Jason Voorheesberg. If slashing becomes legalized what would your slasher name be and what would be your method of killing?

That interview was tight. Just because slashing ain’t legal in Vermont doesn’t mean we don’t get away with murder here in Oregon. Anything goes in the valley of death. It’s paradise. And you had my name wrong above. It’s Nate Arson, and my game is total fire.

CP: Respect You have really cool hair. What shampoo do use?

NC: Jasön because it’s named after you and because no other shampoos have umlauts over the vowels so they are unworthy to grace my mane.

CP: That’s good stuff, my ex used it but she shaved her head. You were published this past year by Lazy Fascist Press. What was it like working with the alt-right?

NC: Lazy Fascist are CTRL/ALT freaks, but never actually right about anything. Except who they choose to publish.

CP: I’ve seen you point out 10 different people’s spelling and grammar mistakes on Facebook. Would you be a patriot and offer free service to President Trump and proofread his Tweets?

NC: 10?! You are clearly not paying attention. I have been correcting everyone around me since I learned to spell cheese on television at age four. (K – R – A – F – T). I would only work for Trump for free if he agreed to take a photo with me and sign it using the last drops of his own pig blood.

CP: I am starting a band with my future wife. What advice & wisdom do you have for me?

NC: Get her a piss bottle for the van.

CP: Does Glenn Danzig zig or zag?

NC: I mostly remember a lot of heel clicking.

CP: Who is better at Magic: The Gathering, you or Garrett Cook?

FUCK MAGIC THAT SHIT SOLD OUT AND RUINED ROLE PLAYING FOREVER AND IS FOR A YOUNGER GENERATION THAT DOESN’T HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN TO INHABIT A PLAYER CHARACTER OR RUN A CAMPAIGN. I’M ALSO PISSED THAT I DIDN’T BUY THAT BLACK BORDER SET THAT MY CO-WORKER AT THE ANSWERING SERVICE OFFERED TO SELL TO ME IN 1995 FOR A PRETTY REASONABLE PRICE.

CP: Word. Hardcore bro. Last question, what are you working on now?

My first comic will be out around Halloween, the new Witch Mountain album is nearly finished (with a single being released later this year by Adult Swim), and I’m currently writing a story about a burnout couple from Portland that batters its way into Lovecraft’s Dreamlands using hashish/shatter, Wake Back To Sleep lucid dreaming techniques, and a magical reality show theme park. Cat people are going to hate this story.

***

Nathan Carson is a musician, writer, and Moth StorySlam Champion from Portland, OR. He is widely known as co-founder and drummer of the internationally touring doom metal band Witch Mountain, host of the FM radio show The Heavy Metal Sewing Circle, and the owner of the boutique music booking agency, Nanotear.

Carson’s byline can be found on hundreds of music and film-related articles in outlets such as the Willamette Week, SF Weekly, Orbitz, Noisey, Rue Morgue, Terrorizer, Metal Edge, etc.

In recent years, Carson has turned his sights toward weird fiction, earning immediate accolades and publication via Word Horde, Stone Skin Press, Strange Aeons Magazine, Fedogan & Bremer, and Lazy Fascist Press, working with luminary editors such as Ross Lockhart, Molly Tanzer, Cameron Pierce, and Joe Pulver. He is also regularly found as a panelist, reader, or attendee on the convention circuit at HP Lovecraft Film Festival/Cthulhucon, NecronomiCon, StokerCon, ReaderCon, Bizarro Con, etc.

Starr Creek (Lazy Fascist) is Carson’s first standalone novella.

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About Christoph Paul

Nice Jewish boy who writes mean books. Publisher of New English Press. Rep'd by Veronika Boom and writes Bizarro Erotica as Mandy DeSandra.

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