I recently saw BONED, an indie horror comedy by Laura Lee Bahr. I know Laura as a Bizarro writer, so I knew I would be in for a hell of a ride. Laura both wrote and directed this film. The movie is a love story, but not in the traditional way. This is a love story for dog lovers.

In BONED the stakes all revolve around an adorable little dog that becomes the pawn in the twisted plans of The Mistress, played expertly by Bai Ling. If Cruella DeVille was a twistedly sexy dominatrix, she would be The Mistress. Samantha (Angela Landis) plays a professional dog walker and struggling actress. She has a chance encounter with Dr. Edward Pierce (Josh Randall) when her car door scrapes on his car by mistake. As their romance awkwardly unfolds, they stumble deeper and deeper into a web of deception and dog kidnapping. The mysterious appearance and pursuit of a band of Gothy thugs is both hilarious and extremely unsettling. All paths lead to The Mistress. Once Bai Ling is on screen, all the seemingly random pieces of the film fall into place with sudden and delicious terror. This is the scene the whole film has been building towards.

It is a macabre and kinky visual feast.



BONED is a sexy, strange, and heartfelt story about fighting for what you love, no matter how insane the obstacles and how bizarre the stakes. If you are in the mood for an untraditional mind-bender and you love dogs, maybe even more than you love other humans, you need to watch this movie. Any comparisons to other directors would not do this movie justice. Though the unbridled chaos of Ken Russell comes to mind when I think of the Bai Ling scene. There is a controlled hallucinatory madness that builds and builds to a crescendo of lunacy and visuals that will remain branded in your mind forever.

The first half lays out the groundwork for the second half and when all the plotlines come together it definitely pays off.

So, curl up on your couch, with some handcuffs and some popcorn and your favorite dog or lover and watch BONED





Laura Lee Bahr is the writer/director of the unromantic comedy BONED.She is also the author of the novels, Haunt and Long-Form Religious Porn published by Fungasm Press.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and see more at


About Leza Cantoral

Leza Cantoral is a human who lives on the internet. She is the editor of Tragedy Queens: Stories Inspired by Lana Del Rey & Sylvia Plath, host of Get Lit With Leza podcast, author of Cartoons in the Suicide Forest, & editor in chief of CLASH Books. She blogs at Twitter, IG, FB @lezacantoral

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