Top 10 Daily How-To’s By… The Suicide Squad

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Harley Quinn, Katana, and Enchantress in a Suicide Squad (2016) promotional photo

This week was inspired by the release of Suicide Squad with some daily life advice everyone needs to hear.

1. How to respond when someone calls instead of sending a text:
“The Joker would probably just say, ‘Fuck you,’ and hang up.” – Jared Leto, (wired.com)

2. How to efficiently deny a creepy, possibly unsightly, Tinder request:
“I don’t think ever. Like, pretty close to when hell freezes over. Like, we’re going to leave that one alone.” – Will Smith (eonline.com)

3. How to justify a maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and elephant blood lemonade detox:
“I can get, like, skinny fat, which is super attractive” – Joel Kinnaman (elle.com)

4. How to explain a shameful previous record of employment:
“If anyone just thought I was trying to pad my resume, they can suck my boobs.” – Cara Delevingne (time.com)

5. How to correctly reminisce on past sexual experiences:
“It was weird every single time.” – Karen Fukuhara (wmagazine.com)

6. How to compliment a co-worker on a job well done:
“That guy knows his shit.” – Scott Eastwood (harpersbazaar.com)

7. How to express regret in imitating the physical appearance of a Kardashian:
“I just loved the look, so I wanted to take it as far as possible – but then it turned out to be around five hours of makeup.” – Jay Hernandez (irishexaminer.com)

8. How to socially defend yourself for being an unapologetic asshole:
“Playing a bad guy is always more fun than playing the good guy.” – Margot Robbie (comicbook.com)

9. How to describe Tom Hiddleston’s attraction to Taylor Swift:
“I think he sees her as a bit of fun, but I think he sees her as an absolute nightmare because she’s bat-shit crazy.” – Jai Courtney (comingsoon.net)

10. How to give up on a failing fitness regime:
“I work out five days a week, and I’m still not a size 2.” – Viola Davis (elle.com)

 

Amy Nguyen is a 24 year writer in Calgary, Canada who currently works in the film industry, primarily in exhibition, and runs a blog on tumblr called “Wicked Pop Culture.”

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