I’m getting grumpier and grumpier about movies every year. I still watch the Oscars, but mostly for the fashion. Nothing excites me anymore. There’s hardly any good ideas in the industry.
I’m tired of remakes and sequels. And let’s not act like Spotlight was a fucking breakthrough. Have you seen All The President’s Men? It’s the same idea, but with better photography. Last year I only cared to give a shit about Mad Max: Fury Road, The Force Awakens, and… that’s it. I’m bitter.
Now, even though I’m bitter and grumpy, I can still talk about love. Let’s talk about The Lobster. It’s already between my favorite movies ever (alongside Space Jam and 2001: A Space Odyssey). If you, dear adventurous web surfers, get the chance to see it, do it.
The Lobster is the first English-speaking film from Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos. A name like that sounds like the villain of a Saint Seiya chapter, but Lanthimos was already a household name in Greece, due to his smashing success with 2009’s Dogtooth (Kynodontas).
The film takes place in a near future modern city, where being single is illegal. People that break up or become widowed are sent to a hotel where they get 45 days to find a new partner. If they fail to do so, they’re transformed into an animal of their choosing. Sounds like something Gabriel García Márquez would write. I’d probably choose to be a sloth.
The main character, David (played flawlessly by Colin Farrell) is a chubby nerd who checks into the hotel after his girlfriend leaves him. Despite his gloomy appearance, he’s determined to find a new partner and stay human, whatever it takes. David owns a dog, who is really his brother – who couldn’t manage his stay in the hotel.
The hotel has bizarre rules and an even weirder staff. Also, a lot of the nerdy looking people with pathetic flirting skills kind of make you feel better about yourself. Near the hotel there’s a forest, where a collective of runaway “loners” live outside of the system, and they’re chased and hunted down by the desperate nerds. David eventually meets a short-sighted woman (played by Rachel Weisz) and all hell proceeds to break loose.
So, David and the weird “friends” he’ll make along the way have to deal with a lot of crazy stuff with no explanation. There’s no excuses and no forgiveness. There’s also a lot of violence and dark humor. There’s Léa Seydoux being a fucking Terminator. There’s the always dreamy Ben Whishaw being a little shit for once. And there’s no respect whatsoever for human rights.
But in the end, it’s a love story for hopeless romantics. Believe me. The soundtrack is amazing, the casting is perfect, and you kind of fall in love with Colin Farrell despite his serial killer mustache. I don’t want to talk about the final scenes and ruin the magic, so I’ll leave it up to you.
Probably the best thing about The Lobster is its’ in-your-face attitude. It doesn’t try to make you comfortable. It doesn’t care, and for a lot of things, you’ll find no logical answer, almost like love itself.
Anais Capetanopulos is a Chilean journalist student who can’t stop quoting Milhouse Van Houten and cries over the Star Wars theme song.