There are too many authors out there calling what they do their “craft.” There are too many wordslingers with annoying author pages on Facebook, too many word count statuses, and too many people celebrating the release of their latest homemade, limited edition poetry chapbook. Then along comes author Lovey Banh and shatters the world.
Lovey Banh, author of titles such as Idris Elba & Me & 26,000 adopted kids in Mexico: 26,000 boys no girls (chinese wife only love boys) an ant sings a grandma killed a grasshopper why … will sell 40 million a day concert in germany and the classic heartbreaking narrative No Husband No Dick To Suck: One Egg 100 Facials (Steve Harvey Talk to Me fund my new TV Talk-Show Host or 24/7 Radio Show Host talk like a fish read … and eat like an ant and write lion a lion, is here to tell authors they’re not special. And I love her for that.
You see, Lovey Banh has tricked the system, laughed at Amazon, and joined the same platforms all writers are told to join. Her Twitter account (inactive since 2014, sadly) lets readers know she wants to build hospitals in Africa and offers a number for single lawyers to call. That’s called reach. Also, while most authors are out there trying to give their books away, the average price of Banh’s paperbacks is $2,999.99 (that’s not a typo). This, my friends, is trolling on a new level. This is a brilliant commentary on contemporary publishing and its silly, silly ways. You have a book out there and folks can get it on Amazon, so you get to puff your chest out and call yourself a published author, right? Well, congrats: you’re on the same level as Lovey Banh. Now tone it down a notch, will you?
So yeah, next time you’re thinking about titles, remember you didn’t come up with something as beautiful as Shy In Bed But Not At The Buffet Table. Likewise, the next time you start begging for reviews, ponder the fact that no review you get will ever be as hilarious as Nick L’s review of “One kid two lungs to harvest: My great-parents order her books from his grave One woman one voice said “hey Africa no thank you card to us Korean, we … extra houses in hungtington beach for sale”: “This was a welcome addition to my collection of paperbacks that feature dumpy Cambodian women in swimwear on the cover.” Thank you for keeping us humble, Lovey.
Bio: Gabino Iglesias is a writer, journalist, and book reviewer living in Austin, TX. He’s the author of ZERO SAINTS (Broken River Books), HUNGRY DARKNESS (Severed Press), and GUTMOUTH (Eraserhead Press). His reviews have appeared in Electric Literature, The Rumpus, 3AM Magazine, Marginalia, The Collagist. Heavy Feather Review, Crimespree, Out of the Gutter, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, HorrorTalk, Verbcide, and many other print and online venues. You can find him on Twitter at @Gabino_Iglesias