I Want to Fuck Moleman. No, This Isn’t Satire, I Truly Want to Fuck Moleman

I’m really not joking. I’ve been attracted to Hans Moleman for as long as I can remember.

I cannot explain what it is that drives me to find this weird, wrinkly little man so lust-inducing but believe me, it’s something I’d like to get to the bottom to. When I first laid eyes on Hans in The Simpsons episode “Radio Bart”, I didn’t realize just how enamored I was with the elderly cartoon character. There was a definite ‘twinge’ of something inside me, though.

By the time his second appearance rolled around, I actually felt myself get physically erect. It disturbed me at first, and I was slightly ashamed, but after a couple of more episodes I just couldn’t help myself. I needed to take care of business. His facial creases and perfectly round glasses just produced an undeniable affect on me. Hearing his raspy, frail voice… I imagined him calling my name as I’d drill his soft yellow anus.

Eleven years have passed since then. I’m thirty-one now and my fetish is as persistent as ever. Until this point in my life, I’d only revealed my bizarre attraction to a handful of lovers. One of which actually offered to wear a paper Moleman mask during intercourse. (I politely declined.) I have decided that I cannot go a day longer without the world knowing who I really am.

With hentai becoming more popular and attraction toward animated characters finally gaining acceptance, I figured now was the time to step forward and reveal this truth about myself. It is my hope that my courage can inspire others out there to feel comfortable with themselves.

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About Jamalle Vandersnitch

Jamalle Vandersnitch is a lover of the arts and deep literature. He lives in Saint Paul, MN.

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