The Bruja Visions of Wendy C. Ortiz
“Dreams are often a strange equalizer.”
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The Death Metal Lit of Dean Swinford
Take a trip to the METAL side of LIT
Writers Should be Like Sam Hinkie & Trust The Process
In professional sports there is ALMOST never a good reason to lose, and in writing there is never a good reason to write poorly. Both are the golden rules of being ‘successful’ but what if you need to lose to get better, and need to write some shit to get better? What if losing and being shitty is part of the process to become great?
Why I Can’t Wait for GLOW
GLOW had me hooked immediately and Nash and Maron are just supporting characters.
I Talk Politics with Popular YouTuber Wizard of Cause
I talked and debated with Twitter friend and popular YouTube Personality Wizard of Cause on John Podesta’s Pizza Party
Quit Making the Talentless Rich With Your Terrible Taste and B. Diehl
“Being on this podcast made me feel like I fell into some weird Loony Tunes wormhole.”
Nothing is Fair in the Apocalypse: It Comes at Night
There is no such thing as fair during times like this.”
Anxiety and Ativan: The Homesick Minivan by Justin Grimbol
“I felt okay about being charmless. I was going to eat ice-cream.”
New Horror Releases!
When horror authors get big press distribution, it always exciting news. Two books are out today and both of them look awesome.
YOU CAN CATCH SADNESS AND DEATH LIKE A FEVER: An Interview with Scott McClanahan
“I was a religious little boy and thought Guns N’ Roses were nothing but sinners and going to hell.”
Writers Remember Denis Johnson
“Genre or Literary Fiction, NYC or MFA, Indie or Mainstream, Denis Johnson was beloved. “
ALL HAIL TRANS WITCHES: AN INTERVIEW WITH LIVING SEA-WITCH, MOSS ANGEL: BY LARISSA GLASSER
“I can’t untangle my queerness from my politics or my magickal practice.”
YOU AND I WILL ONE DAY FEEL THE JOY OF DESTROYING AN ENTIRE BATHROOM WITH OUR BARE HANDS: An Interview with Benjamin DeVos
“Bet it feels good to smash up a toilet.”
Anxiety, Meditation & Reading Bukowski: Justin Grimbol
“I picture myself as Lena Dunham with a beard.”
This Super Cool Thing Where Everything Gives Me Anxiety: Constance Ann Fitzgerald
“When I finally decided to quit drinking I had anxiety about being alone.”
Christine Stoddard Makes Shit Happen
“I want to make shit happen.”
IT’S MY STORY AND I WILL WRITE IT SENSATIONAL IF I WANT TO: MONIQUE QUINTANA
“No vampires, werewolves, and certainly no witches.”
SKIN STORIES FEATURING KELBY LOSACK
“I’m still the heathen it represents, but now I’m a sober, happy heathen.”
DEATH METAL EPIC: GOAT SONG SACRIFICE BY DEAN SWINFORD
“Saw Nunslaughter cut open a dead deer, dump buckets of blood, and throw a pig’s head off the stage for the audience to kick around in the mosh pit.”
Review of the Film The Circle
So I went to see The Circle even though it had a 17% Rotten Tomato…
Melania Trump’s New Portrait Actually Headshot for New Law and Order: SVU Role
“I am honored to play the role of Lieutenant Olivia Benson on SVU”
MONSTER IN A DRESS SHOP: A FEMINIST PHOTO PROJECT BY CHRISTINE STODDARD
“I fought so long to plant a flag in something that never should have been disputed territory.”
Jeff Burk Goes to the ‘Free Speech Rally’ & May Day Protest
“The anti-Trump juggler was the best.”
Dude, You Can Summon Ancient Spirits Anywhere: An Interview with Elle Nash
MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY DAY
Alexander Boldizar, Chaos, Harvard, and The Ugly
“I have a firm belief that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.”
The Void: A Horror Fan’s Wet Dream
“You’ll be grateful for the nightmares.”
Lovecraftian Grunge: Kurthulhu
Come As You Are to Kurthulhu
David W. Barbee: Bacon Fried Bastard
“Every human being gets addicted to something.’
The Love Witch: An Unconventional Review by Autumn Christian
“If you expend so much effort into being what other people desire it’ll leave you feeling empty.”
The Homesick Minivan With Justin Grimbol: Dog Story
“Once he jumped on me while I was humping my pillow.”
Memoirs of a Professional Weirdo: Yellow Army Woman
“You can just imagine all those Chinese like a little army of yellow ants crawling over it, can’t you?”
B. Diehl Interviewed by Christoph Paul
Philip Levine or Billy Collins who makes better lasagna? Follow up question, who is the better poet Blink 182 or Billy Collins?
Skin Stories: Constance Ann Fitzgerald
“Kathleen Hanna never stops. She can’t be kept down.”
Wu-Tang Tribute Anthology is for 99 Cents and Having a Goodreads Giveaway
Enter the Goodreads Giveaway and get the e-book for 99 cents.
The Syria Ultra Mega Special
“In this episode the boys cover everything Syria — the missile strike on their airbase, the refugees, and everything in between. Predictably, the conversation results in a debate. How exciting!”
Comedian Don Rickles Passes Away at 90
“You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. It’s a personality. My humor is an attitude.”
Adventures in Wendyland: Bruja, by Wendy C. Ortiz
“BRUJA is a fluid, non-linear, and organic experience.”
The Homesick Minivan With Justin Grimbol: Angry Old Men
“I visit old people in their homes and help them with daily tasks, like cooking and cleaning and bathing.”
Have Hipsters Ruined the Mustache?
“When I think of people with mustaches, I think of my dad, Burt Reynolds, and cowboys.”
Tragedy Queens: Stories Inspired by Lana Del Rey and Sylvia Plath TOC
“Tragedy Queens is an anthology that brings together two powerful muses.”
Unicorns are Evil and Brian Alan Ellis: Get Lit With Leza Podcast
“My heart is a dumpster fire.”
Author Alexander Boldizar Interviewed by Christoph Paul
One of the earliest reviews I received said, “A full on satire of contemporary law as mesmerizing and complex as something lost from David Foster Wallace, yet as light in tone as A Confederacy of Dunces.” First I was flattered, thrilled, and then I thought, wait, didn’t both those guys kill themselves?
Assault with a Deadly GIF & Debating Planned Parenthood | John Podesta’s Pizza Party
“Guests Garrett Schuelke and Zach Elmblad join the roster and catch up on current events in this two part episode.”
Starr Creek by Nathan Carson is a Literary Acid Trip
“You can probably read the book faster than an acid trip lasts .”
Like Lovecraft In Brooklyn: Battering the Stem by Bob Freville
“Spring Breakers and Gummo specifically pop to mind.”
Mother’s Day (1980) Philip LoPresti WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOLIERS
“I first saw Mother’s Day when I was thirteen.”
Monsters, Myths, and Madmen, with Jerry Drake at AWP
“I am compelled to tell stories.”
Review of The Yellow House by Chiwan Choi
“I finished The Yellow House by Chiwan Choi in one sitting, on my birthday.”
IF I WAS SMART I WOULD EITHER KILL MYSELF OR IMMEDIATELY BECOME A RECLUSE: An Interview with Elizabeth Ellen
“Basically, Elizabeth Ellen should win the Pulitzer Prize and then immediately be beaten to death with it because she’s so good, so human, so completely fucked.”
How I Unintentionally Wrote An Awesome Grunge Song About Farts
“Hardcore fart song, bro. I liked it.”
Hate From The Sky By Sean M. Thompson
“My personal favorite character is a talking bathroom that literally fucks Kyle.”
John Edward Lawson Talks Books at AWP
“Bizarro is the Chaos Magick of literature.”
Discussing The Dark Net, The Trans Debate, And More
“THE DARK NET!!! It’s spooky, scary, and contains plenty of things that are quite illegal.”
Spooks and Books with Cathy T. Colborn
“I dreamt about Lola at night.”
Skin Stories: Tiffany Scandal
“There are also realistic portraits of my cats, a sheep in wolves clothing, and ton of book references.”
The Return of The Passion of the Christoph Podcast
After a year hiatus from The Passion of the Christoph Podcast, Christoph returns for a solo show
That Scrap Book
“If you ever bring a black man home, I’m throwing you through that window.”
TRANS RIGHTS FIGHT!! | John Podesta’s Pizza Party
“Lots of arguing and political talk. I’m sure you aren’t very used to that…”
THE HOMESICK MINIVAN
“We loved Kerouac’s Mexico City Blues and Enzo wanted to read the whole book out loud. It took a long time because we got very drunk.”
It Was Supposed To Be A Satire. It Turned Out To Be A Prophecy
“You made all of this happen with your book,” one Twitter user scolded me.”
Angel Meat With Laura Lee Bar
“I had the image of me eating my heart but it was cake instead of my actual heart.”
Michael Kindt (1968-2017)
“We’re saddened to announce that we lost a member of the CLASH family this week. Author and CLASH journalist Michael Kindt (April 14th, 1968 – February 21st, 2017) passed away unexpectedly at the age of 48.”
The End of Milo Yiannopoulos
“Pure filthy chatter and politics.”
A SHADOW MAP: AN ANTHOLOGY BY SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT
“What does it mean to survive?”
Embry: Hard-Boiled—A Weird Little Egg Cooked Just Right
“Imagine if Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett wrote about talking chickens and anthropomorphic eggs in muumuus.”
MY BLOOD IS BASICALLY MOLDY COFFEE AND DOG PISS: An Interview with Artist/Writer Michael Seymour Blake
“I can already see the glazed over eyes of anyone who dares read this shit.”
CLASH Gets Spooky With Gina Ranalli
“Titles such as Wall of Kiss, Mother Puncher, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife grab your attention and make you wonder what kind of madness unfolds within those pages.”
ANGEL MEAT BY LAURA LEE BAHR IS LIKE A PSYCHEDELIC PRAYER
“If you enjoy surrealistic Bizarro fiction with a heart too big to contain within its pages, then this is the collection for you.”
Beyond the Great, Bloody, Bruised, and Silent Veil of This World
“Old gods lurk behind the stars, old loves linger on from Earth, and Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.”
CLASH Podcast Does AWP With Justin Grimbol
“Imagine watching your ten-year old drawing chainsaw dicks.”
A Horror Fan’s Guide to Love and Sex by Brendan Vidito
“We live in a time that fetishizes 80s popular culture, so wouldn’t it be rad if you developed a vaginal opening on your stomach that supports Betamax tapes?”
Have A Seat Over There… CHRIS HANSEN Talks to JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY
“The latest episode of the CLASH Media original podcast…”
The 100 Funniest Tweeters You Need To Follow
“2016 was an ugly year. Here to save the day are the brave men and women of Twitter who were a ray of sunshine during that dark period in human history because 2017 isn’t looking much brighter.”
Will THE ROCK Run For Office? | Jeff Burk on JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY
“Here we go, another round of the Pizza Party…”
Godzilla, Golden Showers, Voodoo and Writing Rituals, and Why Portland, Oregon is Doggie Heaven: CLASH Catches Up With Bizarro Author Garrett Cook
“Godzilla helped give me my moral compass.”
I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER: HERE IS WHAT MY WOMEN’S MARCH EXPERIENCE WAS LIKE
“Somewhere in between Donald Trump’s attacks on immigrants and his comments about pussy-grabbing, it became clear that public demonstrations and marches were going to become a regular part of my life.”
THE TRANSGRESSIVE ANTI-TRUMP BIZARRO ART OF JIM AGPALZA
“I just chose the gutter to dwell in, and with what the world seems to be moving into, I think it’s a perfect place to assess and judge it.”
DEMOCRATS HANDED TRUMP THE PRESIDENCY
“In a country that is virtually bipartisan, you can not fight an extreme with anything other than another extreme.”
Jeff Burk Discusses #PizzaGate, Protests, & More on Two Part JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY
“A brand new episode of the CLASH exclusive podcast this week features a notable bizarro author…”
America’s Decay is On Your Hands
“CNN and Fox News are the same. Breitbart and Mic are the same.”
Meryl Streep, #PissGate, & Bryan Singer’s Pedophilic Sex Parties | JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY
“This week the boys are talking to filmmaker Jacob A. Miller about Hollywood liberalism, Meryl Streep’s Golden Globe speech, Donald Trump’s potential pee fetish, Bryan Singer’s alleged pedophilic sex parties, and then they debate the best performances of actors playing mentally challenged characters.”
Fungasm Author Danger Slater Interview
Danger Slater is a Bizarro writer who uses surrealism, dark humor, and a healthy dose of existential angst to create his stories.
‘Avengers’ Director Joss Whedon Calls for Paul Ryan’s Death
“No, this one isn’t satire…”
Skin Stories: D. Foy
“All of my tattoos are reflections, more or less, of visions.”
Inside a God of Haunted Walls: An Unconventional Interview with Garrett Cook
“I do not control people’s boner.”
John Podesta’s Pizza Party – Episode 3: “The Franklin Cover-Up”
“Social justice, alt-right, and conspiracy theories… what more could you ask for out of a political podcast?”
CLASH Podcast Interview With Constance Ann Fitzgerald
CLASH Media catches up with Constance Ann Fitzgerald and talks about her new book, Glue.
Watch the New Trailer for the Vaporwave Horror Series ROTTEN
“Violence, vendettas, and vaporware. These are the hallmarks of the revenge thriller known as ROTTEN.”
Leza Cantoral Interviewed by Christoph Paul on Clash Media Podcast
“I kinda wanna feel like I am being possessed by the ghost of Jackie O. I wanna feel like she’s talking to me and I wanna get kinda creeped out and tripped out about that.”
SEASONS BEATINGS: A BIZARRO HOLIDAY COMIC
““Platform Edge” is an urban-surreal nightmare comedy centering around
the deranged, demented and disastrous lives of two wayward housemates.”
MY MOTHER’S CIRCUS/HAND-SEWN CARNIVAL
“My grandmother made Christmas ornaments from dried apricots and sugar cookies that she baked with her own hands, a creation upon a creation. They were all tiny women, and she gave them dark hair like us, which felt like a gift to me.”
Blood Sausage, Cold Beer, and Reindeer: a Christmas Tale of Colonialism and Acceptance
“Our abuelitas went to special masses and some of the nativity sets under our trees featured a baby Jesus that had slightly darker skin than the Jesus the gringos put under their tree.”
TOP FIVE WEIRD XMAS MOVIES
“Here are five cult Christmas films sure to bring something akin to holiday cheer to the perverts and creeps among us.”
The Christmas Poop of Catalan
“Whether you think Christmas is shit or Christmas is the shit, when you are Catalan, your Christmas is going to be full of shit. And I mean literally. And no, it doesn’t get that dirty (usually).”
Skin Stories: Bracken MacLeod
“Welcome to Skin Stories, where I ask some of the most exciting voices in fiction to tell us the stories behind their tattoos.”
WHY I STILL ENJOY XMAS EVEN THOUGH I AM A JADED MOFO
“I can’t stand most holidays. The idea of having to sit around with folks I spend most of the year trying to avoid out of social obligation always sets me on edge.”
Wu-Tang Tribute Anthology Table of Contents and Release Date
“Here are the writers that brought the mother fucking ruckus…”
Comedy/Politics Show Premieres – JOHN PODESTA’S PIZZA PARTY
“John Podesta’s Pizza Party is a comedic culture and politics podcast covering current events in life, the media, and government.”
The Last Time I Saw My Sister’s Children: A Tragic Christmas Tale
“Myself and my two older sisters were never exactly Little Women but we did our best not to hate each other.”
#the Tao of Murray
“Amongst his many deific duties, Murray plays poet and maharishi to the various extraterrestrial corporate entities that run our universe. He keeps them merciful.”
CLASH XMAS SUBMISSIONS CALL
“Entertain us with your Christmas traditions and recollections.”
Growing up Mexicana without God: Remembering A Secular Christmas Tradition
“When I saw the mall Santas I always knew it was a man in a suit.”
Christmas at the Porn Store
“Around Christmas time I would have to set up The Singing Santa next to the lube.”
Bizarro Monday
Over 200 Bizarro Fiction ebooks for 99 cents.
Review of Shit Luck
And then she dies.
End of story.
Well, not really.
CLASH Now Has A Podcast
For the first CLASH Media Podcast, author/editor Christoph Paul talks politics and Social Media with CLASH Media Founder Jayme Karales. They voted for different candidates…
Breaking News: Jared Leto OUT, The Joker To Be Recast in DCEU
“Suicide Squad: Extended Cut just hit Amazon and iTunes yesterday and fans are already rejoicing over the extra minute and a half of footage featuring Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) and The Joker (Jared Leto). But don’t get too excited.”
Trump Demands Harassment of Minorities Come to an End, “STOP IT.”
“I am so saddened to hear that. And I say, ‘Stop it.’ If it– if it helps. I will say this, and I will say right to the cameras: ‘Stop it.’”
Trump Backpedals on Deportation, “We’re Going to Deport Those With Criminal Records”
“Along with nixing his plan to repeal Obamacare, it seems that President-elect Trump has revised his strategy for deportation.”
Stay Angry
“The bad thing is here and action will be required, so learn to focus your anger and use it for good.”
AN AMERICAN SOAP OPERA IN FOUR PARTS, AS SEEN FROM “THE PORTLAND BUBBLE”
“Our nation is a cracked mirror. You stare into the glass, hoping to find solace, but you are delivered more cracks.”
Election Reflection
Author Christoph Paul gives his thoughts on the election.
A Transgender Woman’s Letter For The American Public
“What a surreal time to be alive in all the history of the world and be who I am.”
HOLLYWOOD FEMINISM: A HILLARY CLINTON STORY
“On November, 11th 2016, the United States will hold its first presidential inauguration for a reality TV star.”
THE BONE YARD- CASE #1
“I still have the yellowed newspaper clipping, the piece of evidence, and the skull wrapped up in an old box in the back of my personal files.”
BIZARRO COMICS: THAT’S A-VORE
“Platform Edge” is an urban-surreal nightmare comedy centering around the deranged, demented and disastrous lives of two wayward housemates.”
WHY I LOVE PRESIDENT TRUMP (A Former Bernie Supporter)
“As someone who really believed in Bernie Sanders, went to his rallies, and felt his populist message in my heart, I saw the conspiracy against FEEL THE BERN by the Clinton Campaign and the media at large.”
I Was on Jeff Burk’s Podcast for An Epic Political Conversation
“We geeked out about politics for 4 hours.”
WATCH ME TWEET ABOUT BEING HUMAN GARBAGE AND CHILL?
“How can Facebook expect me to share my Facebook memories when I can’t even handle my Facebook realities?”
‘ROTTEN: Chapter One’ Now Online
“The first entry in the throwback mystery saga, starring Thomas Speed, Ivana Bellorado, and Mike Mike, written by Joel Amat Güell and Jayme Karales, and directed by Jayme Karales, is now online.”
HORROR ANTHOLOGY MUST HAVE: ETERNAL FRANKENSTEIN
“The beauty of this anthology is how varied the voices are.”
I WAS STONED AT MY FIRST SEANCE
“I felt like I was outside myself as well as inside.”
EVERY DAY IS HALLOWEEN
“I grew up with a grandma who kept a bathroom full of candles for the dead.”
First Chapter in Vintage Horror-Mystery Series ‘ROTTEN’ Now Online
“The first entry in the crime trinity, starring Thomas Speed, Ivana Bellorado, and Mike Mike, written by Joel Amat Güell and Jayme Karales, and directed by Jayme Karales, is now online. “
The Art of Perfecting the Rap Squat
“You’ve seen the squat. The prayer hands. The effortless glow. This is the rap squat whispered about in ancient hip-hop lore. Many try, but few can pull it off.”
TOP 5 Takashi Miike Movies
“I just hope you like the color red.”
The Implosion of Trump and the Cannibalization of Pence
“To support his claims to well endowed-ness, Donald J Trump attempted to have a bigger dick, tattooed on his dick.”
HORROR FILM POEMS OUT NOW FROM CLASH BOOKS
“HORROR FILM POEMS is a love letter to horror films where poems are the paragraphs.”
TOP TEN SCI-FI HORROR MOVIES
“Not recommended for: novice trippers, Reagan Republicrats, copywriters with ideals intact (both of you), nor especially RayBan-wearing dictators.”
URBAN LEGENDS: THE RAG MAN
“I saw two men with carts, with horses attached, who looked like they were dressed as service workers from the early 20th century.”
Jay Ajayi Gives The Miami Dolphins A Winning Identity
“I am a huge Miami Dolphin fan and for the first time and what feels like forever, I enjoyed watching them play football.”
TOP TEN BODY HORROR MOVIES
“There was no way I could do a body horror list and not include Brian Yuzna’s Society.”
THE SPOOKY WORLD OF ANDREW GOLDFARB
“I try to meditate on talking bats and planets made of chocolate as much as possible, so that my ratio of bizarre to boring will tip further into the strange.”
TOP TEN TWISTED FAIRY TALE MOVIES
“Eat the apple. Drink the drink. Eat the pot brownies from the wicked witch.”
TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES GUARANTEED TO GIVE YOU A WEIRD BONER
“Guaranteed to give you and your potential lay the weirdest boners imaginable, lady or otherwise.”
October? More like Readtober, amiright?
“Here’s what needs to be on your radar.”
I RAN FOR ONE MILE AND DIDN’T DIE
“I didn’t realize how out of shape I was until I tried running a mile.”
Review of The Greasy Strangler
“This movie is like CALVAIRE, but funnier. It’s completely absurd and surreal.”
CHILDREN IN A DEAD MUSEUM
“I remember being so happy then—a creature that stayed out too late one Halloween night and got lost in the morning light.”
TOP TEN UNDERRATED SLASHER FILMS
“Escaped psychopaths? Check. Teenaged babysitters? Check. Buckets of blood? Check. Yet some of the films on the following list also offer plots that at least try to bring something different to the table.”
LONELINESS, SORROW, AND SPIRITS IN NEW ORLEANS
“Maybe New Orleans is like a drug, an opium-induced dreamspace.”
FILM REVIEW OF DEAD VISIONS
“Never in all my years of watching cinema have I been so simultaneously perplexed and unnerved by a film.”
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT DYLAN
“The Swedish Academy is full of elderly individuals who are apparently too tired to read thick novels.”
Korn’s Jonathan Davis is a Front Runner for 2017 Nobel Literature Prize
“you not rrrh rot
dot n dot n dot per rot
dot n not n dot per
n dot chi cot n dot rrr ah
dot dot ki o ma gri a dot
dot ers a pa ta ko”
TOP TEN BIZARRO HORROR MOVIES
“Sometimes the strange, the ugly, the grotesque and the frightful come together and form something truly amazing.”
ANTIBIRTH IS MY NEW DATE MOVIE
“Sometimes I use movies as a gauge whether or not it’s going to work out between me and a romantic partner.”
Search Engine Optimization Poem
This poem should at least get some Google hits.
LillyBridge by Sean M. Thompson
“Oblivion is only a lap dance away, and even when you leave, you’re never really gone. We take a piece of you, as payment, an offering to our humble little establishment.”
TOP TEN SATANIC HORROR MOVIES
“There is only one way to get rid of temptation and that is to yield to it. Resist it, the soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.”
THE ANGEL OF 42nd STREET
“I’ll never forget our one and only encounter with the real life Dolemite.”