Wait till you hear the unintelligible shit show of my real life.
Donald Duck would never do such a thing, place a pistol to his temple while grinning like a maniac.
In an apocalyptic Texas where you can get high drinking your own shadow, there lives a young shadow junkie named Murk. This is from Brian Allen Carr’s breakout novel, Sip.
Now and then there comes a book so strange, that the comedown after reading feels like the day after an acid trip.
Ikea is a strange and dangerous place. But if knowing witches is good for anything, it’s for walking into scary and confusing situations like this.
In the city where I live, I hang posters of her face on concrete walls and bus-stop shelters. We cannot forget.
What did you do in Amsterdam?
Shy Watson: oh my god what didn’t i do
Lowres Wunderbred’s Deconstruction series returns looking into the beloved and berated final Stanley Kubrick film.
“Hustle sucks, man.”
“Emphasizing the grotesque, absurd, and bizarre, the Southern Gothic uses extremes to interrogate the horrors of ordinary life.”
“One of the best rockabilly singles from this decade is from Kesha’s last album, Rainbow.”
Ten first date movies guaranteed to either get you blocked on social media or help you find the love of your life.
“Go to a crossroads & try to summon Lucifer & see what happens.”
“Absolutely Golden is a far-out tale that grooves right along.”
“If you’re a fan of Bizarro or plain weird fiction in general, you should give STACKING DOLL a try.”
“It was the eyes—always, her eyes.”
Seriously, give him some pants.
“The uglier parts of the show detail how they want to do what best suits them, their reputation, and their livelihood.”
“I wanted to die. Yes, that’s it. I imagined that nothing would’ve made me happier.”
“Italian horror doesn’t give a shit about your Protestant work ethic.”
“I’ve seen very few popular movies where black people get to be fully expressive complex humans.”
“What if Superman’s ship didn’t crash in Kansas, but landed on the other side of the world in Soviet controlled Ukraine?”
When you look like Ted Cruz/
and have a .429% shooting percentage/
the world will hate you.
Last night featured two matches in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic
Did you get bullied by crossing guards in high school?
Will there be a Scientology Bachelor?
The solution to boring ass readings!
My prediction for The Authors of Pain vs. TM61 match was only partially correct
So how do you qualify for Rick Pitino’s Health Plan?
CLASH Books will be publishing Godless Heathens: Conversations with Atheists by author Andrew J. Rausch.
The popular Deconstruction Series by LowRes Wünderbred looks at the strange conspiracy theory of Kubrick’s Moon Landing.
“Lucio Fulci’s The Devil’s Honey is lyrical meditation on violence, trauma, recovery and revenge through an S&M lens.”
“We met at a village cantina, and shit got deep the more rum we consumed.”
“Instead of recapping this week’s NXT I decided to preview the upcoming Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. “
If you thought people watching other people play video games on YouTube was stupid, you were right, but this is pretty great.
“We talked about life and writing in the same way that poets talk about love: straight forward and with no bullshit.”
“What I’m really fascinated by is this branding of the self, turning one’s own social media performance into a deliberate consumable item.”
Film Cricket’s Oscar Bets
New release from CLASH Books up for pre-order.
“Comedy is laughing so the werewolves won’t tear you apart.”
“The truth is that I had all the opportunities in the world to sing and act, but I was too scared of failure, too busy comparing myself to my peers to tap into my own creativity.”
“Last night Johnny Gargano put his career on the line against Andrade “Cien” Almas in exchange for one last shot at the NXT belt.”
“Here’s a list of things you should do and be on the lookout for when it comes to sending someone your work.”
“Tanzer aspires to the coolness that comes with trying but making it seem like you’re not trying, which is exactly how good writing is, and one of the reasons that Be Cool feels so effortless to read.”
CLASH Books presents Issue #1 of CLASH Magazine
This is only entertaining video of someone playing a video game on YouTube.
“Here’s a closer look at just why Jeepers Creepers 3 doesn’t work…and really doesn’t even try to.”
“Somewhere around the 193rd episode, I’ve come to recognize that this ‘innocent’ cartoon is peppered with subliminal messages.”
“I spent Valentine’s Day alone but found solace in the knowledge that I shared this fate with the majority of wrestling fans.”
CLASH BOOKS has your Valentine’s Day covered with two juicy new releases!
“Big Baller Poetry books are coming soon!”
“There is something spicy & sensual about the warm taste of ginger on your tongue.”
This video made us sort of like Cloverfield Paradox.
“Hey everybody, Rickie V here, the illegitimate son of college basketball legend Dick Vitale!”
“We are not defined by our traumas, we are not defined by our traumas, we are not defined by our traumas.”
“You think you could make a shrine to Bárbara Mori out of old magazine clips, gluing each piece of her to the tiny nook in your wall.”
“There are plenty of zines and lit sites that give authors a platform to talk about their favorite seltzer water and convince everyone they use a typewriter, which is great and all, but that’s not what this is.”
Read up Knicks, Hornets, Grizzlies, Sixers, Heat, and Cavs fans.
“It’s a creepy yarn that opens with a birth scene and ends with you losing your whole fucking mind.”
We have a new Cloverfield film!
Madeleine Swann takes every creepy online psychology test you’ve secretly wanted to try.
“Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the belief, that we are truly meant for someone, and it’s too late for that to happen.”
“Don’t you hate it when you’re a god, and you just want a sandwich from your favorite chicken joint, and you specify at the counter that you DO NOT WANT PICKLES on your sandwich.”
Vlogger and writer Wizard of Cause reads Howl by Allen Ginsberg on a motorcycle
Fuck, Kill, or Mary: Philip K. Dick, Dick Wolf, Dick Van Dyke?
“Born and raised in a small harbor town in the south of Ireland, Kealan Patrick Burke knew from a very early age that he was going to be a horror writer.”
Hey DFW fans…
“Tiamat is like Marilyn Manson for metalheads.”
“Cicero’s poems show nature as violent and unforgiving.”
“In an unsurprising turn of events, the 2018 Grammy Awards suffered a significant drop of 24% in viewership.”
“Fans of the enduring reality series Big Brother can rejoice this coming week when its first Celebrity Edition premieres February 7th.”
He will be missed. RIP
YouTube has picked popular vlogger EatDatPussy445 for the starring role.
LitReactor columnist and managing editor of CLASH Books, Christoph Paul, shares a great way to come up with main characters that will feel real and unique to you and your reader.
Great White House 2 is free for this week!
Get your Tight 15 ready
“It’s gross, violent, erotic, boisterous fun for a pretty non-traditional family unit.”
“Haneke reminds us that humans are all damaged shitbags.”
“Being a guest on Get Lit with Leza is like being at a great party and in therapy at the same time.”
YouTube announced its new minimum standards to join its partner program in 2018 and get monetization a few days ago, and it has become a very divisive issue
Writer and YouTuber Wizard of Cause VLOGS about why artists of all types need isolation.
“The first time you think your chest is going to explode, it tends to take the fight out of you.”
“LeBron James’ decision to leave Cleveland for Miami in the summer of 2010 is one of the most memorable sports stories of this decade.”
“We have the meetings in the basement of Joel’s Fixed Speed Bikes and Mustache Wax Emporium.”
TRAGEDY QUEENS: STORIES INSPIRED BY LANA DEL REY & SYLVIA PLATH WILL BE AVAILABLE MARCH 13TH, 2018
“Leza and I took a strange and wonderful journey together.”
Editor and author Christoph Paul explains how writing notes (and being brutally honest) about a finished draft will make you a better writer, give you better standards, and help you write books you will feel proud of.
“In 2006 Warner Bros. rushed a Green Lantern film into pre-production written by Saturday Night Live and Late Night with Conan O’Brien‘s Robert Smigel that would have starred Jack Black.”
I brought receipts
Breaking and Busting News!
In July of 2014 I wrote a poem about James Franco. Since then, I’ve been vocal about disliking him for a plethora of reasons. Now, five women have accused him of doing the kind of shit you could tell he did just by looking at his face. So, as a wonderful “I told you so,” here is that poem again.
Christoph Paul gives you recording tips and shares his experience of awesome, horrible, and bad recording sessions.
“When using The GrudenGrindr, you’ll work up quite an appetite, why not stop over at Hooters for their new Fire Island wings.”
“A friend of mine was arrested for swimming naked in the reservoir where this water comes from.”
“Imagine if David Lynch produced a gritty, raw, live-action JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH.”
“We talked about writing and faith, and I even got to show off my Lego art and played the guitar!”
“Santa Claus is an avatar of the state cult of the United States.”
“This game of treating women like auction block meat is older than Hollywood itself.”
Here a 5 tips on how to keep editors, agents, and publishers reading.
Warning: Experiment with these practices at your own risk.
Here’s some inspiration for all of you creators starting or finishing projects this year.
“At first, I didn’t feel any pain, but then I ended up falling down a flight of stairs while carrying an air conditioner.”
LowRes Wünderbred’s Deconstructing Series returns focusing on Tim Burton’s Batman sequel.
The most important poem of 2018.
“So this summer I was helping out on this farm with all these anarchist witches & stuff.”
“I thought a blog would give me direction but it kinda didn’t do that at all. It kinda made me more aimless.”
Everything you wanted to know about Bitcoin is here in this video!
“FLO IS SWEET, but she’s a hard bitch.”
“Krampus is the kind of mythological figure I can get behind.”
“If you haven’t seen this one, you’ve robbed yourself of all the basic joyful, terrifying treasures that Christmas has to offer.”
“One woman even has a demon dog named Cerberus come out of her backside chomping away at her opponents. Hip Whip Girl forever!”
Meet Buffalo, he hates Trolls even more than you do.
“No more CHRISTMAS SHIT for the rest of the night.”
“Some of the narratives on this list need to fuck off and disappear forever, but others may or may not become amazing stories in the right hands.”
“i like to paint. people seem to like them. win-win.”
“I paid the premium to sign off on everyday America because the manufactured rage of adulthood needs to be exorcised.”
“Watching them win this money, I started to feel like I had squandered my life.”
Ghosts trying to get laid, an “erotic” burning bush, forbidden love between sea monsters and more fill this collection of Torah-influenced bizarro, horror, and pulp fiction. You gotta dig any book that has a recipe for a skinhead-killing Golem.”
“The Disaster Artist shows us what it means to create, expose ourselves, and the risks of showing something at the world and have it look back.”
“Plant magic has been an integral part of seasonal ceremony. Long before Christmas was decking the halls, it was exploring the inner caverns of our psyche.”
Who’s to say Snowdrip or Evergreen or whatever generically named Elf won’t end up feeling the Bern and realize that their situation sucks.
If you couldn’t make it to BizarroCon Madeleine Swann is here share the experience with you.
“It was like being at Bizarro Con again, just hanging out and nerding out about Bizarro Fiction and literature in general.”
What is the best path?
“The most screwed up thing about The Die-Fi Experiment is that it’s not that far from reality.”
Roy Moore was banned from a mall for his behavior of harassing young women.
“These are stories for when you cry looking at a mirror and ask harsh questions about who the fuck is staring back at you.”
“When I was your age, mija, I had my heart broken by a beautiful man.”
“The presence of so much morbidity is both thrilling and unnerving.”
“Scenes of vaudevillian grotesquery abound in Trash Humpers.”
“when you swipe your fingers between my thighs like that it’s like someone smashing the motherfucking like button on all of my tweets at once”
“The second time, nothing came back but roaches stained smoke and ash”
“I think I’ve organically drifted from horror to crime/noir to dark/literary.”
LowRes Wunderbred gives a thought-provoking visual essay on the mainstream and the new right media.
“I don’t remember any of this. To be clear, my lack of memory is because of the Xanax.”
Tax Cut Party 2017!!!
Big 12 and Nebraska fans did not like this vlog.
Spoiler Alert: The entertainment industry hates you.
“I Will Buy You a New Life” is the most moving rock song of the 1990s about desperation and relationships.
“Even if his first name is Santa, he’s no saint to me.”
Featuring poem: Fuck Mumford and Sons
A compare and contrast of Miley Cyrus’ Malibu and Chelesa Wolfe’s Spun
Squishy the fat cat > Jay Cutler
The Internet agrees Net Neutrality should not to be fucked with
Singularity Roger Ebert Returns to review the controversial and no longer distributed film I Love You, Daddy.
“Each of the writers by day seven had shared raw truths, built scene after scene and perfected their skills.”
The editors and couple of CLASH talk about the best or worst movie (depending on your opinion) of the year.