Wait till you hear the unintelligible shit show of my real life.
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Reflections on the Attempted Suicide of Donald Duck
Donald Duck would never do such a thing, place a pistol to his temple while grinning like a maniac.
Interview With a Shadow Junkie from Brian Allen Carr’s SIP
In an apocalyptic Texas where you can get high drinking your own shadow, there lives a young shadow junkie named Murk. This is from Brian Allen Carr’s breakout novel, Sip.
Review: The Church of Latter-Day Eugenics by Chris Kelso & Tom Bradley
Now and then there comes a book so strange, that the comedown after reading feels like the day after an acid trip.
How to Survive Going to Ikea: Tips From a Witch
Ikea is a strange and dangerous place. But if knowing witches is good for anything, it’s for walking into scary and confusing situations like this.
We Must Never Forget The Tragic Suicide of Christine Chubbuck
In the city where I live, I hang posters of her face on concrete walls and bus-stop shelters. We cannot forget.
I Ended Up Making Out With This Justin Bieber-like Boy in Amsterdam
What did you do in Amsterdam?
Shy Watson: oh my god what didn’t i do
Deconstructing Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut
Lowres Wunderbred’s Deconstruction series returns looking into the beloved and berated final Stanley Kubrick film.
Show Me Your Shelves: Nicolás Obregón
“Hustle sucks, man.”
Atlanta is Southern Gothic: Episode Review of “Teddy Perkins”
“Emphasizing the grotesque, absurd, and bizarre, the Southern Gothic uses extremes to interrogate the horrors of ordinary life.”
Five Essential Rockabilly Albums
“One of the best rockabilly singles from this decade is from Kesha’s last album, Rainbow.”
Top Ten First Date Horror Movies
Ten first date movies guaranteed to either get you blocked on social media or help you find the love of your life.
Go Summon Lucifer & See What Happens
“Go to a crossroads & try to summon Lucifer & see what happens.”
Review: Absolutely Golden by D. Foy
“Absolutely Golden is a far-out tale that grooves right along.”
Stacking Doll Book Review
“If you’re a fan of Bizarro or plain weird fiction in general, you should give STACKING DOLL a try.”
Death, But No Maiden
“It was the eyes—always, her eyes.”
For God’s Sake, Someone Give Kassius Ohno a Pair of Pants
Seriously, give him some pants.
Thirteen Reasons Why: NO ROOM FOR THE GOOD GUYS
“The uglier parts of the show detail how they want to do what best suits them, their reputation, and their livelihood.”
Thinking of Neal Cassady
“I wanted to die. Yes, that’s it. I imagined that nothing would’ve made me happier.”
Why You Should Watch Sleazy Italian Horror Films
“Italian horror doesn’t give a shit about your Protestant work ethic.”
We Still in This Bitch: Why I Cried Watching Black Panther
“I’ve seen very few popular movies where black people get to be fully expressive complex humans.”
“It Could Have Gone Down Like This” Top 5 Weirdest Alternate Histories
“What if Superman’s ship didn’t crash in Kansas, but landed on the other side of the world in Soviet controlled Ukraine?”
Grayson Allen Poem
When you look like Ted Cruz/
and have a .429% shooting percentage/
the world will hate you.
Young Shawn Michaels
Last night featured two matches in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic
Danger Slater Super Serious Interivew
Did you get bullied by crossing guards in high school?
Scientology TV is Now A Thing
Will there be a Scientology Bachelor?
Most Readings Suck. Here’s How to Fix It.
The solution to boring ass readings!
Aleister Black is Dope, and Ciampa Hates Signs
My prediction for The Authors of Pain vs. TM61 match was only partially correct
Rick Pitino Starts Health Care Company
So how do you qualify for Rick Pitino’s Health Plan?
Interview with Joe R. Lansdale on Atheism
CLASH Books will be publishing Godless Heathens: Conversations with Atheists by author Andrew J. Rausch.
Deconstructing Kubrick’s Moon Landing
The popular Deconstruction Series by LowRes Wünderbred looks at the strange conspiracy theory of Kubrick’s Moon Landing.
Review of Lucio Fulci’s The Devil’s Honey
“Lucio Fulci’s The Devil’s Honey is lyrical meditation on violence, trauma, recovery and revenge through an S&M lens.”
Chillin’ With Poker-Playing, Knife-Wielding, Revolutionary-by-Accident Jack Waters
“We met at a village cantina, and shit got deep the more rum we consumed.”
Preview: Round 1 of Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic
“Instead of recapping this week’s NXT I decided to preview the upcoming Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. “
Let’s Play Super Metriod with Lowres & Get Woke AF
If you thought people watching other people play video games on YouTube was stupid, you were right, but this is pretty great.
Women in Horror Superstars: Linda Addison & Stephanie Wytovich
“We talked about life and writing in the same way that poets talk about love: straight forward and with no bullshit.”
Who The Fuck Are We Anyway?
“What I’m really fascinated by is this branding of the self, turning one’s own social media performance into a deliberate consumable item.”
O$car 2018 Odd$
Film Cricket’s Oscar Bets
Dark Moons Rising on a Starless Night Pre-Order
New release from CLASH Books up for pre-order.
Comedy is Not Pretty
“Comedy is laughing so the werewolves won’t tear you apart.”
Bohemia Is Dead: Watching RENT in 2018
“The truth is that I had all the opportunities in the world to sing and act, but I was too scared of failure, too busy comparing myself to my peers to tap into my own creativity.”
NXT Recap: The Last Stand of Johnny Wrestling
“Last night Johnny Gargano put his career on the line against Andrade “Cien” Almas in exchange for one last shot at the NXT belt.”
Listen, Ask, Read: A Guide to Publishing and Publishers for Authors
“Here’s a list of things you should do and be on the lookout for when it comes to sending someone your work.”
Book Review: Be Cool by Ben Tanzer
“Tanzer aspires to the coolness that comes with trying but making it seem like you’re not trying, which is exactly how good writing is, and one of the reasons that Be Cool feels so effortless to read.”
CLASH Magazine: Issue #1 Ready for Pre-Orders
CLASH Books presents Issue #1 of CLASH Magazine
Super Mario Kart on Crack
This is only entertaining video of someone playing a video game on YouTube.
10 Reasons Why Jeepers Creepers 3 Failed Monstrously
“Here’s a closer look at just why Jeepers Creepers 3 doesn’t work…and really doesn’t even try to.”
The Conspiracy Theory of Phineas & Ferb
“Somewhere around the 193rd episode, I’ve come to recognize that this ‘innocent’ cartoon is peppered with subliminal messages.”
NXT Recap: He Dunne It Again
“I spent Valentine’s Day alone but found solace in the knowledge that I shared this fate with the majority of wrestling fans.”
VALENTINE’S DAY NEW RELEASES: Tragedy Queens & the Gothic Poetry of Wrath James White
CLASH BOOKS has your Valentine’s Day covered with two juicy new releases!
LaVar Ball Poem
“Big Baller Poetry books are coming soon!”
Molly Tanzer & Her Creatures of Will & Temper
“There is something spicy & sensual about the warm taste of ginger on your tongue.”
Cloverfield Paradox: How All 3 Movies Are Connected
This video made us sort of like Cloverfield Paradox.
UNC Beats Duke, Commentary from Rickie V
“Hey everybody, Rickie V here, the illegitimate son of college basketball legend Dick Vitale!”
Rios de la Luz is a Xicana Word Witch
“We are not defined by our traumas, we are not defined by our traumas, we are not defined by our traumas.”
My Obsession with Mexican Telenovela Star Bárbara Mori
“You think you could make a shrine to Bárbara Mori out of old magazine clips, gluing each piece of her to the tiny nook in your wall.”
Chillin’ With Characters
“There are plenty of zines and lit sites that give authors a platform to talk about their favorite seltzer water and convince everyone they use a typewriter, which is great and all, but that’s not what this is.”
Josh McDaniels Declines The Indianapolis Colts to Coach Tim Tebow in the XFL
Breaking news!
3 Trades That Need to Happen Before The NBA Trade Deadline
Read up Knicks, Hornets, Grizzlies, Sixers, Heat, and Cavs fans.
The Mortuary Monster Out Now!
“It’s a creepy yarn that opens with a birth scene and ends with you losing your whole fucking mind.”
The Cloverfield Paradox Will be on Netflix After The Super Bowl!
We have a new Cloverfield film!
Taking Creepy Online Psychology Tests
Madeleine Swann takes every creepy online psychology test you’ve secretly wanted to try.
Patrick Bateman 90s Reviews: Jewel’s Pieces of You
“Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the belief, that we are truly meant for someone, and it’s too late for that to happen.”
Horny Toads, Conquistadors & Jungle Whimsey Jimsey: The Art of Jim Agpalza
“Don’t you hate it when you’re a god, and you just want a sandwich from your favorite chicken joint, and you specify at the counter that you DO NOT WANT PICKLES on your sandwich.”
Beautiful Reading of Allen Ginsberg’s Howl On A Motorcyle Ride
Vlogger and writer Wizard of Cause reads Howl by Allen Ginsberg on a motorcycle
Super Serious Internet Interview with Autumn Christian
Fuck, Kill, or Mary: Philip K. Dick, Dick Wolf, Dick Van Dyke?
Kealan Patrick Burke Talks Horror on Get Lit With Leza
“Born and raised in a small harbor town in the south of Ireland, Kealan Patrick Burke knew from a very early age that he was going to be a horror writer.”
David Foster Wallace Erotica Exists! And Footnotes are Involved…
Hey DFW fans…
Five Sleazy Goth Albums You Are Going to Love
“Tiamat is like Marilyn Manson for metalheads.”
Review: Nature Documentary by Noah Cicero
“Cicero’s poems show nature as violent and unforgiving.”
Grammy Ratings Dip to 9 Year Low as People Grow Tired of Hollywood Liberals
“In an unsurprising turn of events, the 2018 Grammy Awards suffered a significant drop of 24% in viewership.”
Celebrity Big Brother Cast Announced; Former Trump Aide Omarosa Manigault in the Mix
“Fans of the enduring reality series Big Brother can rejoice this coming week when its first Celebrity Edition premieres February 7th.”
Horror Legend Jack Ketchum Passes Away at 71
He will be missed. RIP
YouTube Red Making Biopic About Comedian Patrice O’Neal Starring EatDatPussy445
YouTube has picked popular vlogger EatDatPussy445 for the starring role.
Writing Advice: Frankenstein Your Friends
LitReactor columnist and managing editor of CLASH Books, Christoph Paul, shares a great way to come up with main characters that will feel real and unique to you and your reader.
Happy Govt Shutdown! Here’s a Free Book About Singularity ISIS Sharks & Trump Island
Great White House 2 is free for this week!
Netflix Will Do 15-Minute Stand Up Specials
Get your Tight 15 ready
A Wholly Unprofessional Review of F4 by Larissa Glasser
“It’s gross, violent, erotic, boisterous fun for a pretty non-traditional family unit.”
5 Michael Haneke Films to Watch Before Seeing Happy End
“Haneke reminds us that humans are all damaged shitbags.”
Lucas Magnum is a Lord of the Dark Web
“Being a guest on Get Lit with Leza is like being at a great party and in therapy at the same time.”
YouTube Partner Program 2018 Update vs Delusional Creators
YouTube announced its new minimum standards to join its partner program in 2018 and get monetization a few days ago, and it has become a very divisive issue
You Are Not Your Amazon Ranking
Poetry
The Isolation of Art
Writer and YouTuber Wizard of Cause VLOGS about why artists of all types need isolation.
Anxiety Isn’t Just “Having a Bad Day”
“The first time you think your chest is going to explode, it tends to take the fight out of you.”
Five Teams LeBron James Should Go To Instead of The Lakers
“LeBron James’ decision to leave Cleveland for Miami in the summer of 2010 is one of the most memorable sports stories of this decade.”
WHAT MILLENNIALS WILL KILL NEXT!
“We have the meetings in the basement of Joel’s Fixed Speed Bikes and Mustache Wax Emporium.”
Tragedy Queens: Stories Inspired by Lana Del Rey & Sylvia Plath Cover Reveal
TRAGEDY QUEENS: STORIES INSPIRED BY LANA DEL REY & SYLVIA PLATH WILL BE AVAILABLE MARCH 13TH, 2018
Andrew Goldfarb on Get Lit With Leza
“Leza and I took a strange and wonderful journey together.”
Writing Advice: Edit Your Draft With Brutal Honesty
Editor and author Christoph Paul explains how writing notes (and being brutally honest) about a finished draft will make you a better writer, give you better standards, and help you write books you will feel proud of.
Jack Black Nearly Cast as Green Lantern, Would Have Launched DC Cinematic Universe
“In 2006 Warner Bros. rushed a Green Lantern film into pre-production written by Saturday Night Live and Late Night with Conan O’Brien‘s Robert Smigel that would have starred Jack Black.”
I Told Y’all Case Keenum is Clutch!
I brought receipts
JOBS! JOBS, JOBS: Stormy Daniels Another Trumponomics Success Story
Breaking and Busting News!
Fucking Franco: A Francopera in Three Acts
In July of 2014 I wrote a poem about James Franco. Since then, I’ve been vocal about disliking him for a plethora of reasons. Now, five women have accused him of doing the kind of shit you could tell he did just by looking at his face. So, as a wonderful “I told you so,” here is that poem again.
Recording Songs: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
Christoph Paul gives you recording tips and shares his experience of awesome, horrible, and bad recording sessions.
John Gruden Returns to the Raiders & Promotes New App The GrudenGrindr
“When using The GrudenGrindr, you’ll work up quite an appetite, why not stop over at Hooters for their new Fire Island wings.”
Excerpt from Bud Smith’s Upcoming Collection, Calm Face
“A friend of mine was arrested for swimming naked in the reservoir where this water comes from.”
REVIEW: He Digs a Hole by Danger Slater
“Imagine if David Lynch produced a gritty, raw, live-action JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH.”
Maxwell Bauman’s Anarchist Kosher Cookbook
“We talked about writing and faith, and I even got to show off my Lego art and played the guitar!”
The Strange History of the Crucifixion of Santa Claus
“Santa Claus is an avatar of the state cult of the United States.”
Happy 20th Anniversary, Titanic: Thanks for Introducing Me to Big Screen Body Shaming
“This game of treating women like auction block meat is older than Hollywood itself.”
Writing Advice: Keep Me On My Treadmill!
Here a 5 tips on how to keep editors, agents, and publishers reading.
SELF-LOVE, The Art of Intentional Masturbation
Warning: Experiment with these practices at your own risk.
How Farming is Like Writing, Making Films, Art & Music
Here’s some inspiration for all of you creators starting or finishing projects this year.
Bodyhacking is Not a Horror Movie
“At first, I didn’t feel any pain, but then I ended up falling down a flight of stairs while carrying an air conditioner.”
Deconstructing Tim Burton’s Batman Returns
LowRes Wünderbred’s Deconstructing Series returns focusing on Tim Burton’s Batman sequel.
Fuck Your Flat Earth, I Want a Hallow Earth
The most important poem of 2018.
Cooper Wilhelm is a Dumbheart/Stupidface
“So this summer I was helping out on this farm with all these anarchist witches & stuff.”
Damn it Feels Good to be a Beach Sloth
“I thought a blog would give me direction but it kinda didn’t do that at all. It kinda made me more aimless.”
Bitcoin Madness!
Everything you wanted to know about Bitcoin is here in this video!
HOLIDAY DINER: A DEPRESSING XMAS TALE BY BRIAN ALAN ELLIS
“FLO IS SWEET, but she’s a hard bitch.”
VERY MERRY TWISTED FUCKING XMAS ART
“Krampus is the kind of mythological figure I can get behind.”
Ten Movies to Scare Your Christmas Balls Off
“If you haven’t seen this one, you’ve robbed yourself of all the basic joyful, terrifying treasures that Christmas has to offer.”
How to Stay Sane on Social Media
Yup
Top 10 Most Bizarro Anime TV Shows
“One woman even has a demon dog named Cerberus come out of her backside chomping away at her opponents. Hip Whip Girl forever!”
Short Film: Finding the Trolls
Meet Buffalo, he hates Trolls even more than you do.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY A HERD OF PSYCHOTIC REINDEER
“No more CHRISTMAS SHIT for the rest of the night.”
Narratives That Need to Take a Long Break
“Some of the narratives on this list need to fuck off and disappear forever, but others may or may not become amazing stories in the right hands.”
Sam Pink: the Perks of Being a Cave Man
“i like to paint. people seem to like them. win-win.”
Being an Adult Sucks. So, I Hid Out in Disney World
“I paid the premium to sign off on everyday America because the manufactured rage of adulthood needs to be exorcised.”
Deciding to Get Into Sports Betting
“Watching them win this money, I started to feel like I had squandered my life.”
10 Reasons to Buy The Anarchist Kosher Cookbook
Ghosts trying to get laid, an “erotic” burning bush, forbidden love between sea monsters and more fill this collection of Torah-influenced bizarro, horror, and pulp fiction. You gotta dig any book that has a recipe for a skinhead-killing Golem.”
The Disaster Artist Review
“The Disaster Artist shows us what it means to create, expose ourselves, and the risks of showing something at the world and have it look back.”
How Fungi Magic Made Christmas
“Plant magic has been an integral part of seasonal ceremony. Long before Christmas was decking the halls, it was exploring the inner caverns of our psyche.”
Why Santa’s Elves Need to Unionize
Who’s to say Snowdrip or Evergreen or whatever generically named Elf won’t end up feeling the Bern and realize that their situation sucks.
BizarroCon 2017 Vlog by Madeleine Swann
If you couldn’t make it to BizarroCon Madeleine Swann is here share the experience with you.
Math, Architecture & Bizarro, Oh My!
“It was like being at Bizarro Con again, just hanging out and nerding out about Bizarro Fiction and literature in general.”
Short-Term Goals vs Long-Term Goals
What is the best path?
BOOK REVIEW: The Die-Fi Experiment by M.R. Tapia
“The most screwed up thing about The Die-Fi Experiment is that it’s not that far from reality.”
Dear Alabama, Please Don’t Vote for Roy Moore
Roy Moore was banned from a mall for his behavior of harassing young women.
Transformative (Injectable) Lit
“These are stories for when you cry looking at a mirror and ask harsh questions about who the fuck is staring back at you.”
Arteries & Fruit: Travel Adventures in Bogotá
“When I was your age, mija, I had my heart broken by a beautiful man.”
The Seven Creepiest Places I Have Visited
“The presence of so much morbidity is both thrilling and unnerving.”
The Great American Horror Film Is Trash Humpers
“Scenes of vaudevillian grotesquery abound in Trash Humpers.”
why bees sting (even knowing what will happen)
“when you swipe your fingers between my thighs like that it’s like someone smashing the motherfucking like button on all of my tweets at once”
Apocalypse Poetry Now
“The second time, nothing came back but roaches stained smoke and ash”
Show Me Your Shelves: Chris Irvin
“I think I’ve organically drifted from horror to crime/noir to dark/literary.”
A Media Divided: A Visual Essay
LowRes Wunderbred gives a thought-provoking visual essay on the mainstream and the new right media.
Getting Drunk & Lit With Andrew J. Stone
“I don’t remember any of this. To be clear, my lack of memory is because of the Xanax.”
Young Republicans at TCU Crowdfund Party To Celebrate Tax Cut Bill
Tax Cut Party 2017!!!
UCF Wins! But Loses Coach Scott Frost to Nebraska
Big 12 and Nebraska fans did not like this vlog.
You Are NOT a Sky Full of Stars (or How Hollywood is Making Us Nuts)
Spoiler Alert: The entertainment industry hates you.
Patrick Bateman’s 90s Music Reviews: Everclear’s So Much for the Afterglow
“I Will Buy You a New Life” is the most moving rock song of the 1990s about desperation and relationships.
Fuck off, Santa (A Chicana Christmas Carol)
“Even if his first name is Santa, he’s no saint to me.”
Metal Poetry
Featuring poem: Fuck Mumford and Sons
A Mind Contorted by Coiled Shackles: Miley Cyrus’ Malibu and Chelsea Wolfe’s Spun
A compare and contrast of Miley Cyrus’ Malibu and Chelesa Wolfe’s Spun
This Fat Cat Named Squishy is a Better Quarterback Than Jay Cutler
Squishy the fat cat > Jay Cutler
Holy Shit the Internet Actually Agrees on Something!
The Internet agrees Net Neutrality should not to be fucked with
I Love You, Daddy Reviewed by Singularity Roger Ebert
Singularity Roger Ebert Returns to review the controversial and no longer distributed film I Love You, Daddy.
Colony Days to Writers’ Retreats
“Each of the writers by day seven had shared raw truths, built scene after scene and perfected their skills.”
Mother! vs Bad Moms Christmas
The editors and couple of CLASH talk about the best or worst movie (depending on your opinion) of the year.